“The Philosopher” (Redux)
O good philosopher
There's a little question I’ve had
I’ve been wondering, how it’s possible
That an average man like me
Can have everything go bad?
This morning in my car
I was listening to my favorite song
Heading to work, only to be stopped by a throng.
Holding rather huge signs
They read “Vote for Me, for Me.”
It was for the president, I’m afraid
Not the candidate of my selection.
My good philosopher, it seems everyone
Has gone mad about this election
I'm just on to my way to work
And I'm stopped by this collection
Of mad men and women
Fanatically politically inclined
I became quite annoyed
With this roadblock they’d designed.
Wondering, where are the police
This morning on Highway 29?
I began to think, maybe
They’re only targeting me.
But I spoke to one of them
One of the saner ones, I’m sure.
As it turns out, they were supposed to get off on Rt. 24
At a place known as the Oak Tree inn
But their bus driver
Became tired of their
Constant bickering and snickering
For he was the only on the bus
Who for their candidate
The driver became quite livid
In a sea of morons he was afloat.
He had to drop them off now
Here in the middle of nowhere,
Perhaps hopefully to delay their vote
Because today is the day
I couldn’t get to work today
As the crowd only got larger.
So I hung my head, and turned around
Only to see and moan
That the traffic was held up behind me
All talking on cell phones
“Hey, honey, hey, sweetie,”
They were saying, or something to that effect.
“There’s a crowd of mad political fanatics, you see,
Today’s plans this will sadly affect."
Now why don’t we turn around,
You may ask, well,
That will have no effect.
Because there’s an equal crowd of fanatics
Right behind us I’ll bet.
And woe, were the cell phoners correct.
The fanatics were stopping us all.
So I said, leaving my car, forget work,
I’ll just go to the mall.
And then I thought, I’d visit you my friend,
Good old philosopher
Come to ask you for your opinion
What advice can you offer?
"I dunno, vote for the other guy."