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Learn more about Seven Pitch here.
I heard this story through the grapevine. This is the way it was told to me. It's just too good not to share, and Clair OK'ed it to share here. So yeah, here's the official version of the events following Mira Belli's explosive press conference.
“Why don’t you have a boyfriend, Clara Belle?” Emelie Tekki asked Clair.
Clair groaned, “Emelie, where did you ever hear that name?”
“It is your name, is it not?” Clair’s portly friend asked innocently, her eyes wide with curiosity.
“It’s what my parents named me. But I left that name behind a lot time ago.”
“Legally speaking, though,” Emelie said, “Um, it is still on your records.”
Clair sighed. She was really enjoying the scalp massage Emelie was giving her. It really was helping to calm the nerves that had been frayed by all the nagging questions of the details of her long vacation. Emelie had taught her things about her body that she never had imagined before.
Clair’s arm felt as live as ever, but her mind was not quite “there” yet, and without a sound mind, hurling was going to be a difficult task. She needed her concentration, and this massage was working. But Emelie was taking longer than usual.
“You asked about a boyfriend,” Clair asked. “How about you?”
“Oh, um, me?” Emelie seemed a bit taken off guard by that question. “No, guys don’t notice me much. Even when they bump into me, it’s like they walked into a wall and, well, they look embarrassed.”
“They’re just upset with themselves that they walked into such a lovely girl,” Clair said, trying to mask the chuckle that would betray her insincerity, but Emelie picked up on it and sighed.
“Fact is, Clair,” Emelie smiled, “You have gorgeous hair.”
Clair pulled her head away from Emelie’s paws. “So that’s what it is,” she chuckled, “You just like playing with my hair.”
“It’s a tried and true relaxation method,” Emelie said.
Clair shook her head and put her head back down. “You know best, Tek.”
“You still, um, haven’t answered my question.”
“You want to know why I don’t date?”
“Um, yes, I suppose that’s what I’m asking.”
“Why does it matter so much to you, Tek?”
“Well, you seem lonely a lot. You’re always smiling and so friendly, but, um, you just seem like you’re – I dunno.”
“Truth is, I’ve dated a few guys. There was this one announcer who was adorable. But he just stammered and fumbled around with everything around me. It was cute for about five minutes”
“Aw, you must have broken his heart.”
“No, he actually left me,” Clair chuckled. “That was the saddest part. I gave him a chance to realize I wouldn’t eat him.”
“You do have rather sharp fangs,” Emelie admitted.
“It’s more who I am than what I am,” Clair sighed. “They’re intimidated by my presence more because I’m Clair Sureclaw than because I’m just simple old Clair.”
“Yeah,” Emelie had finished her scalp massage and was rubbing her hands together. “You, um, all good?”
“Yeah, my back and shoulders feel great. My legs are as strong as they have since high school. Want to go get in some warm-ups?”
“Um, I want to ask you something.”
“You know Rockwell Harper?”
“Of course. He’s the voice of the Ocelots. Kinda cute, too.”
“I was hoping you’d say that,” Emelie said, fluffing her fur.
“I don’t follow,” Clair said blankly.
“Um, are you a good kisser?”
Clair’s eyes almost popped out of her head. “What does that have to do with anything?”
“Well, um, he could probably use one.”
“I really don’t follow, Tek. Are you trying to hook us up?”
“He really adores you.”
“Of course, he does,” Clair laughed.
“But really. His last girlfriend cheated on him. Hasn’t dated for years.”
“How do you even know this stuff?”
“I asked him. He’s really nice.”
“Wait,” Clair looked down for a moment before looking back up into Tekki’s eyes, “You literally asked him out for me?”
“Not, um, exactly. But I asked him what he looks for in a girl.”
“Who are you trying to hook up here?” Clair grinned. She was actually trying to hide her nervousness. She did like Rocky Harper. He was really cute, that butterscotch coon with the messy dark hair. But like hell she’d actually admit that she’d fantasized about dating him.
“There’s nothing wrong with having a crush, but…”
“He said he loves a good kisser.”
“Uh-huh,” Clair tapped her foot. “Can we hit the bleeding field now?”
“Are you a good kisser?”
“You asked me that already.”
“But are you?” Emelie asked with a wide smile on her face. It sort of sickened Clair.
“What, are you going to kiss me?”
Emelie smooched her right on the lips quite to the shock of Clair.
“Seriously, Tek, you’re scaring me.”
“Just sit down a moment,” Emelie said softly.
“Tek, we really should-“
“Sit. Down.” She ordered.
“By Luna’s Stars, okay!” Clair growled. She sat down and Emelie took Clair’s hands in hers.
“You need to relax. How many times have I told you this?”
“You just kissed me! And you’re telling me to relax.”
Clair looked towards the door. She swore she heard soft chuckling out there.
“Did you hear…” she began to ask before Emelie grabbed her cheeks and softly pressed her lips to Clair’s. She even began to stick her tongue in Clair’s mouth. Clair squeezed her eyes shut. She both enjoyed this very awkward moment and despised it simultaneously.
Someone else enjoyed it entirely.
“Scandalous!” Mira Belli screamed. Clair knew it was Mira Belli just from the embellishment of the word alone. There was a flash from what could only have been a camera phone, but by the time both of them looked in that direction, Mira was gone.
“Oh, no,” Emelie said with a sigh. “I just wanted to see if you were ready.”
“Ready for the scandal that you just started?” Clair coughed. “You’ll have to excuse me. I have to go kill Mira.”
Emelie’s eyes filled with tears. “Um, I only wanted to make sure you were ready.”
Clair stopped at the door and without looking back, said, “I’m always ready.” She then turned and winked at Emelie. “By the way, you’re a good kisser.”
And she was off to intercept Mira.