On the journey to and through adulthood, many individuals wonder what it would take to become the best versions of themselves. Following some advice can help you to tackle these existential questions and to bring that person into fruition.

Know What Your Goals Are

Sometimes, it is easy to get caught up in what other people think about what you should do. For example, maybe you showed artistic skills at a young age and your parents have encouraged you to pursue a career in the arts. However, perhaps you’re more interested in finance but have pursued art to please your parents. On the other hand, you may have friends who dissuade you from living in a certain neighborhood or going on a particular trip because they had a negative experience. Get these other people’s voice out of your mind. Determine what it is that you want.

Sleep Enough

When you’re exhausted, it’s difficult to know what you want, and even if you can figure out your goals for the day or week, you may feel too drained to pursue them in any fashion. Aiming for around seven or eight hours of sleep per night is a smart move. Still though, different people have varying needs. An example is if you have a certain medical condition; you might need more sleep. Speak to your doctor to determine what the best amount is for you. You should also articulate any troubles you have with sleeping to your health care professional.

Balance Your Life

Having too much of anything in your life can lead you to get lost in that one area. For example, if you spend virtually all of your time working and miss out on many social opportunities, you essentially become the job. On the other hand, you may surrender valuable possibilities at work if you are more concerned with going out most nights of the week. You also need to find time to prepare healthy meals, get in exercise and pursue hobbies. Planning out a schedule can help you to fit in these assorted tasks.

Set Actual Goals

Saying that you want to become the best version of yourself is a goal, but you need to make your plans more tangible. Once you have decided what the best version of yourself looks and feels like, write down those goals. For example, you may want to return to school to obtain a graduate degree, or you may want to purchase a new home. Once you have your goals written out, you can start to make a list of steps to take to achieve your goals. While harsh deadlines can impede your progress, setting reasonable ones encouraging you to move forward.

Seek Guidance

When you’re working on yourself, you may feel as though you have to pursue this path without assistance. However, plenty of professionals are available to guide you through the process. If you are trying to lose weight, you can work with a nutritionist and a personal trainer; if you are trying to save more money, you can speak with a financial adviser or an accountant.

On the other hand, when you want to get back to going to school, you could speak with an admissions representative. Talking to other people gives you a sense of what you need to do. You also have support when questions come up. Instead of just imagining what the answers are in your mind, you can get real answers.

Dallin Larsen said “A life of significance is a byproduct of making the ‘best’ choices”. Becoming the best version of yourself is a task that you can achieve by striving to make those same choices. When you want to improve who you are as a person, you can implement these steps and work toward a more fulfilling existence.

by Sharon Sherbina, NYR Organic

It’s a dark and stormy night on the island of Oahu.  The surf breaks harshly on the plank of a pier jutting out determinedly into Maunalua Bay.  The dark clouds overhead eerily reflect the light pollution of the nearby shopping districts of Honolulu and Waikiki, where the conversion of paper dollars into stuffed, plastic logo bags is in full swing.  In the distance you can hear a gorgeously wrought cover of Israel Kamakawiwo’Ole’s, “Maui Hawaiian Sup’pa Man”.

When you get to the end of the wicked finger-like pier, it feels as if you’re at the end of the universe, looking out into the dark expanse of the unknown, the peaked and turgid waters all around you.  And, if in that moment, your spirit happens to be troubled, look no further than the ‘alamihi crab skittering purposefully out of your way.

The ‘alamihi crab (metopograpsus thukuhar) is worthy of watching and reflecting upon, although maybe under safer circumstances.  The ‘alamihi keep to the low-tide shallows, much like humanity, and clambers about on the exposed rocks, stones and piers.  They are quintessential self-preservationists.

Is your self-care actually self-preservation, instinctive and reactive?  Or, do you practice it with intention and reflection?  Are you actively planning on how to weather the next storm?  Are you in the middle of a storm now?

It’s anecdotally shared, that when faced with the imminent threat of a collision in a moving vehicle, you clench every muscle you have including the tongue.  This leads to more sustained injuries, and a lengthier recovery time, if your situation is recoverable.  Life is filled with collisions.  There are minor ones like disagreements at work over processes or miscommunications on the homefront with partners and children.  Or there are major ones like the sudden loss of child, getting an unexpected diagnosis for a serious health issue, and losing your job.  What if you could live life unclenched?  Would it matter?

It’s important to be of a positive mindset, but it’s of even greater importance to be of a realistic mindset with a positive response.  The shock is greater to your being, when your first response is, “I never thought something like this could happen to me!”  Why not?  Why, based on all the evidence around you, the rise and fall of civilizations, the ebb and flow of humanity, would you sail through this existence unscathed?

We have a cognitive capacity that way exceeds the ‘alamihi crab.  We can do more than furtively scramble out of the way in the darkness.  We can plan, conditionally, lest Robert Burns’ words come back to pinch us.  We can form intention now.  We can unclench.  We can know for certain that the storms are coming, but that they can be faced.  And some storms may even be dissipated with the right actions.


*This piece was written in the aftermath of the “false alert” January 13, 2018, where thousands of people on the island of Oahu received notification that there was an incoming ICBM missile, and to take shelter.  The beach where the ‘alamihi crabs were observed was the same beach that had hundreds of screaming people running anywhere they could to find shelter, under lifeguard stands, in bathrooms.  In many cases mothers and fathers had their children lie on the ground and they covered their children with their own bodies.

Author Bio:

I’m opposed to author bios, for much the same reason that I’m opposed to framing artwork. Intellectually we know that art goes beyond the frame, and that the frame is an artificial construct.  My husband says that I “sure am a piece of work”, but he has never, (nor has anyone else) ever referred to me as a piece of art… 

So, right now I am bouncing back and forth between the beautiful and troubled island paradise of Oahu, and our home base in deep rural Missouri.  Subjects of interest for contemplation and writing include nature, sustainability, primitive skills and traditions, kindness, unconditional positive regard, all the big whys and hows, movement disorders, the juxtaposition of science and religion, education, second language acquisition, holistic skin care, and cats.  I fail to practice much of what I preach, and greet each day as a challenge, and consider each night before I go to bed an exercise in self-grace.

 
Oahu is beautiful.  There are sunsets that will suck the breath right out of your chest.  The massive banyan trees look like they could pick up root and lumber down the way if you took your eyes off of them.  Sometimes you startle a flock of yellow-fronted canaries, and then they startle you with their breathtaking upflight into the sunlight.

While walking one afternoon, I stopped and looked closely at the trunk of this papaya tree.  All around the trunk, every foot and a half, are a half dozen heart-shaped scars.  I looked fifteen feet above me to see what might be making these beautiful scars on the tree.  At first observation, it appears that when each generation of fruit comes to bear, the large leaves that nestled that fruit begin to wither and die.  Eventually the heavy, dead leaves drop off to the fertile ground below.  They decompose into the soil and cyclically nourish the tree in their demise.  When the leaves drop off, they leave behind the mark of a heart on the trunk. Every.  Single. Time.

The papaya (botanical name, Carica papaya) is a powerhouse of nutrition and medicine.

See here  for the full break down (PDF).

And like most plants and trees, every single part of it is useful.  It’s a perfect tree to use to illustrate a life of intention and purpose, a life with ruts and hardship, a life with joys and mountain-top experiences.  It’s also an ideal cosmic model for resiliency and adaptation at the personal level.

Where is your life at this moment?  Where is it in the life cycle of the papaya?  Is it fruitful and protected by stalwart leaves, and safe from the buffeting of strong tropical winds?  Have you just made it through the most difficult ordeal of your life, and are shedding the dead leaves of your experiences to the ground below you?  Will your hardship nourish and benefit the next generation?  Or are you still somewhere in the middle of the storm, with your desiccated leaves hanging all about you, a semblance of protection until the storm passes.  What shape are your scars?

Author Bio:

I’m opposed to author bios, for much the same reason that I’m opposed to framing artwork. Intellectually we know that art goes beyond the frame, and that the frame is an artificial construct.  My husband says that I “sure am a piece of work”, but he has never, (nor has anyone else) ever referred to me as a piece of art… 

So, right now I am bouncing back and forth between the beautiful and troubled island paradise of Oahu, and our home base in deep rural Missouri.  Subjects of interest for contemplation and writing include nature, sustainability, primitive skills and traditions, kindness, unconditional positive regard, all the big whys and hows, movement disorders, the juxtaposition of science and religion, education, second language acquisition, holistic skin care, and cats.  I fail to practice much of what I preach, and greet each day as a challenge, and consider each night before I go to bed an exercise in self-grace.

Author Bio

Kara Masterson is a freelance writer from West Jordan, Utah. She graduated from the University of Utah and enjoys writing and spending time with her dog, Max.