You may believe success lies in getting results. Believe it or not, success is not always about winning. Success comes from doing your best. But, that doesn’t mean that you have to be the best in your field to succeed. It means you just to be the best at what you are best at doing.

Success is not driving the most expensive car or having millions of dollars in the bank. True success goes far beyond material things or your bank balance. Here are the four things you need to do to find true success:

- Live your life to the fullest
- Live life on your own terms
- Give everything you do your all
- Live without regret

These four things sound extremely simple. But, while many people understand what they mean, only a small minority ever realize all, if any, of these concepts. Let’s look at what it takes to meet each of these four things in daily life.

Life Your Life to the Fullest

While highly cliched, the core message of this phrase is still good. Always find a way to make the most of every day. No, you may not be highly productive or even accomplish something significant every day. What you can do is always find a way to improve yourself. That may just be reading something interesting, helping out a friend, or finding a recreational activity that you enjoy that also allows you to recharge.

Basically, don’t just sit around and wait for things to happen. Make things happen. They won’t always work out well. But, as long as you keep moving, you’ll always find ways to make the most of each day and spare moment that you have. That's how you start living life to the fullest!

Life Life on Your Own Terms

Don’t let people tell you how to live your life. There is no ONE best way to live. You need to discover for yourself what your best life looks like.

Many people believe that living life on your own terms means being your own boss and setting off on your own. While that's true to a degree, you can still find yourself subject to the whims of others. That's true even if you run your own successful business.

Living life on your own terms actually means being self-aware and self-confident enough to know when compromise is worth it in order to achieve success. You also have to recognize when it will only hold you back. You need to know yourself well enough to know when you are no longer moving forward, then are willing to take the risks and steps necessary to continue to grow. These steps are rarely easy, but no one ever said success was easy.

Give Everything You Do Your All

It’s actually very common for us to just do the minimum amount of work required to perform a certain task.  It actually is better to give full effort to each thing that you set yourself to doing. That's because then you will naturally do the best job that you can.

It becomes a good habit to pour yourself into each task. Even the seemingly most mundane tasks have their purpose. In the process, you may find ways to make mundane tasks easier to do or even fun. So, giving your all has its benefits.

Live Without Regret

Regret is powerful, especially when you regret opportunities you could’ve taken better advantage of at the time or missed entirely. This is why it’s important to give your all and take full advantage of each opportunity as it comes.

Yes, regret is often the hardest of our emotions to overcome. That's why being able to put regret into proper perspective is so important. Once you are able to understand why it exists, you can gain a lot of power from that knowledge.

In applying these concepts to your daily life, you will find your own version of success. Even in failure, by doing these things, you will still find yourself still moving forward. You may well find success in ways you couldn’t have even imagined.

How can you apply these concepts to your  daily life today?

Starting over elsewhere may be exactly what you need to get out of the rut you seem to be stuck in lately. Sometimes, just going where someone doesn’t know your past mistakes can help you heal more than therapy. Trying to live with everyone's constant judgement can weigh you down with guilt over your past mistakes. How can you move forward when no one will allow you to escape the guilt and shame?

Stop letting people disappoint you and talk down to you, just because they have not forgiven you. Admitting you made a bad choice and work on changing your life. Start by evaluating your close friends and family, in order to decide who you want to be in your life. If you need to move, then create a plan to begin transitioning to your new place. Decide what you will tolerate and what you won't tolerate, as you begin picking up the pieces of your life.

You have to believe in your own self and stay positive, while trying to rebuild your life. No one has a right to put you down or degrade you. So, with that said, be careful who you allow into your personal space. Don't let anyone who is toxic in your circle of friends and family. This will keep you on the right track as you moved forward in your journey to recovery. Additionally, pick up hobbies that you enjoy and try to stay out of your own head.

Copyrighted 2019

PS; I am not a licensed Therapist. Based on personal experience.

On the journey to and through adulthood, many individuals wonder what it would take to become the best versions of themselves. Following some advice can help you to tackle these existential questions and to bring that person into fruition.

Know What Your Goals Are

Sometimes, it is easy to get caught up in what other people think about what you should do. For example, maybe you showed artistic skills at a young age and your parents have encouraged you to pursue a career in the arts. However, perhaps you’re more interested in finance but have pursued art to please your parents. On the other hand, you may have friends who dissuade you from living in a certain neighborhood or going on a particular trip because they had a negative experience. Get these other people’s voice out of your mind. Determine what it is that you want.

Sleep Enough

When you’re exhausted, it’s difficult to know what you want, and even if you can figure out your goals for the day or week, you may feel too drained to pursue them in any fashion. Aiming for around seven or eight hours of sleep per night is a smart move. Still though, different people have varying needs. An example is if you have a certain medical condition; you might need more sleep. Speak to your doctor to determine what the best amount is for you. You should also articulate any troubles you have with sleeping to your health care professional.

Balance Your Life

Having too much of anything in your life can lead you to get lost in that one area. For example, if you spend virtually all of your time working and miss out on many social opportunities, you essentially become the job. On the other hand, you may surrender valuable possibilities at work if you are more concerned with going out most nights of the week. You also need to find time to prepare healthy meals, get in exercise and pursue hobbies. Planning out a schedule can help you to fit in these assorted tasks.

Set Actual Goals

Saying that you want to become the best version of yourself is a goal, but you need to make your plans more tangible. Once you have decided what the best version of yourself looks and feels like, write down those goals. For example, you may want to return to school to obtain a graduate degree, or you may want to purchase a new home. Once you have your goals written out, you can start to make a list of steps to take to achieve your goals. While harsh deadlines can impede your progress, setting reasonable ones encouraging you to move forward.

Seek Guidance

When you’re working on yourself, you may feel as though you have to pursue this path without assistance. However, plenty of professionals are available to guide you through the process. If you are trying to lose weight, you can work with a nutritionist and a personal trainer; if you are trying to save more money, you can speak with a financial adviser or an accountant.

On the other hand, when you want to get back to going to school, you could speak with an admissions representative. Talking to other people gives you a sense of what you need to do. You also have support when questions come up. Instead of just imagining what the answers are in your mind, you can get real answers.

Dallin Larsen said “A life of significance is a byproduct of making the ‘best’ choices”. Becoming the best version of yourself is a task that you can achieve by striving to make those same choices. When you want to improve who you are as a person, you can implement these steps and work toward a more fulfilling existence.

by Sharon Sherbina, NYR Organic

It’s a dark and stormy night on the island of Oahu.  The surf breaks harshly on the plank of a pier jutting out determinedly into Maunalua Bay.  The dark clouds overhead eerily reflect the light pollution of the nearby shopping districts of Honolulu and Waikiki, where the conversion of paper dollars into stuffed, plastic logo bags is in full swing.  In the distance you can hear a gorgeously wrought cover of Israel Kamakawiwo’Ole’s, “Maui Hawaiian Sup’pa Man”.

When you get to the end of the wicked finger-like pier, it feels as if you’re at the end of the universe, looking out into the dark expanse of the unknown, the peaked and turgid waters all around you.  And, if in that moment, your spirit happens to be troubled, look no further than the ‘alamihi crab skittering purposefully out of your way.

The ‘alamihi crab (metopograpsus thukuhar) is worthy of watching and reflecting upon, although maybe under safer circumstances.  The ‘alamihi keep to the low-tide shallows, much like humanity, and clambers about on the exposed rocks, stones and piers.  They are quintessential self-preservationists.

Is your self-care actually self-preservation, instinctive and reactive?  Or, do you practice it with intention and reflection?  Are you actively planning on how to weather the next storm?  Are you in the middle of a storm now?

It’s anecdotally shared, that when faced with the imminent threat of a collision in a moving vehicle, you clench every muscle you have including the tongue.  This leads to more sustained injuries, and a lengthier recovery time, if your situation is recoverable.  Life is filled with collisions.  There are minor ones like disagreements at work over processes or miscommunications on the homefront with partners and children.  Or there are major ones like the sudden loss of child, getting an unexpected diagnosis for a serious health issue, and losing your job.  What if you could live life unclenched?  Would it matter?

It’s important to be of a positive mindset, but it’s of even greater importance to be of a realistic mindset with a positive response.  The shock is greater to your being, when your first response is, “I never thought something like this could happen to me!”  Why not?  Why, based on all the evidence around you, the rise and fall of civilizations, the ebb and flow of humanity, would you sail through this existence unscathed?

We have a cognitive capacity that way exceeds the ‘alamihi crab.  We can do more than furtively scramble out of the way in the darkness.  We can plan, conditionally, lest Robert Burns’ words come back to pinch us.  We can form intention now.  We can unclench.  We can know for certain that the storms are coming, but that they can be faced.  And some storms may even be dissipated with the right actions.


*This piece was written in the aftermath of the “false alert” January 13, 2018, where thousands of people on the island of Oahu received notification that there was an incoming ICBM missile, and to take shelter.  The beach where the ‘alamihi crabs were observed was the same beach that had hundreds of screaming people running anywhere they could to find shelter, under lifeguard stands, in bathrooms.  In many cases mothers and fathers had their children lie on the ground and they covered their children with their own bodies.

Author Bio:

I’m opposed to author bios, for much the same reason that I’m opposed to framing artwork. Intellectually we know that art goes beyond the frame, and that the frame is an artificial construct.  My husband says that I “sure am a piece of work”, but he has never, (nor has anyone else) ever referred to me as a piece of art… 

So, right now I am bouncing back and forth between the beautiful and troubled island paradise of Oahu, and our home base in deep rural Missouri.  Subjects of interest for contemplation and writing include nature, sustainability, primitive skills and traditions, kindness, unconditional positive regard, all the big whys and hows, movement disorders, the juxtaposition of science and religion, education, second language acquisition, holistic skin care, and cats.  I fail to practice much of what I preach, and greet each day as a challenge, and consider each night before I go to bed an exercise in self-grace.

 
Oahu is beautiful.  There are sunsets that will suck the breath right out of your chest.  The massive banyan trees look like they could pick up root and lumber down the way if you took your eyes off of them.  Sometimes you startle a flock of yellow-fronted canaries, and then they startle you with their breathtaking upflight into the sunlight.

While walking one afternoon, I stopped and looked closely at the trunk of this papaya tree.  All around the trunk, every foot and a half, are a half dozen heart-shaped scars.  I looked fifteen feet above me to see what might be making these beautiful scars on the tree.  At first observation, it appears that when each generation of fruit comes to bear, the large leaves that nestled that fruit begin to wither and die.  Eventually the heavy, dead leaves drop off to the fertile ground below.  They decompose into the soil and cyclically nourish the tree in their demise.  When the leaves drop off, they leave behind the mark of a heart on the trunk. Every.  Single. Time.

The papaya (botanical name, Carica papaya) is a powerhouse of nutrition and medicine.

See here  for the full break down (PDF).

And like most plants and trees, every single part of it is useful.  It’s a perfect tree to use to illustrate a life of intention and purpose, a life with ruts and hardship, a life with joys and mountain-top experiences.  It’s also an ideal cosmic model for resiliency and adaptation at the personal level.

Where is your life at this moment?  Where is it in the life cycle of the papaya?  Is it fruitful and protected by stalwart leaves, and safe from the buffeting of strong tropical winds?  Have you just made it through the most difficult ordeal of your life, and are shedding the dead leaves of your experiences to the ground below you?  Will your hardship nourish and benefit the next generation?  Or are you still somewhere in the middle of the storm, with your desiccated leaves hanging all about you, a semblance of protection until the storm passes.  What shape are your scars?

Author Bio:

I’m opposed to author bios, for much the same reason that I’m opposed to framing artwork. Intellectually we know that art goes beyond the frame, and that the frame is an artificial construct.  My husband says that I “sure am a piece of work”, but he has never, (nor has anyone else) ever referred to me as a piece of art… 

So, right now I am bouncing back and forth between the beautiful and troubled island paradise of Oahu, and our home base in deep rural Missouri.  Subjects of interest for contemplation and writing include nature, sustainability, primitive skills and traditions, kindness, unconditional positive regard, all the big whys and hows, movement disorders, the juxtaposition of science and religion, education, second language acquisition, holistic skin care, and cats.  I fail to practice much of what I preach, and greet each day as a challenge, and consider each night before I go to bed an exercise in self-grace.

Author Bio

Kara Masterson is a freelance writer from West Jordan, Utah. She graduated from the University of Utah and enjoys writing and spending time with her dog, Max.

by Phoenix Desertsong

Have you ever felt like your life is getting a bit too repetitive? I've been thinking a lot lately about the "rat race" and pondering that oft-repeated quote, "Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat." The definition of the rat race, according to Wikipedia, is thus:
 
"A rat race is an endless, self-defeating, or pointless pursuit. It conjures up the image of lab rats racing through a maze to get the "cheese" much like society racing to get ahead financially.
 
"The term is commonly associated with an exhausting, repetitive lifestyle that leaves no time for relaxation or enjoyment."

 I'm quite certain that most people don't get caught up in a "rat race" on purpose. It's easy for people to fall into routines. There's nothing wrong with going to the same job every day. But everyone needs some sort of relaxation or enjoyment. How does someone fit this into their everyday life if you're going through the same exhausting motions every day?

 Each day is an experiment.

 That's right. Every day is a new day in which you can try something new. The most important thing about human beings is our capacity to learn and innovate. If we don't consistently find ways to improve upon what we do, we will feel exhausted and unfulfilled.
 
So perhaps, it's time for the "rats" to do their own experiments!
 
Sometimes, the daily experiment you might make is something seemingly trivial. Should I switch up my breakfast this morning? Should I try a new way to get to work? There are a lot of little ways to alter our routines to try something new. While some may not, some changes just might work better than what we did before.
 
The reason to try something new every day and experiment is pretty simple. If you keep doing the same thing over and over, you can't reasonably expect a different result. Some days are going to be better than others, of course. You'll have failed experiments. But having tried is the point. You may think that maybe not every vocation gives you much room for innovation. But truthfully, there is always some process or task that can be done just a bit better no matter what it is.
 
By doing a little experiment every day, even if it seems outrageous at first, you expand your horizons. Sometimes all you need is just a little bit of creativity to spark something new in your life. You never know what you'll find through experiments.
 
Keep in mind that some accidents turn into brilliant things and failed experiments can turn into world-altering discoveries. You may not think you can change the world, but you can do a lot more than you might think. All you have to do is experiment. Just try to be safe about it!

When the well runs dry and you're thirsty for inspiration, find a new watering hole. Find a new stream, river, lake or pond to sit by and ponder.

When the train of thought runs out of steam, and you're running on fumes, you may need a better fuel. The one you're using may be too much of a polluter and you need a cleaner alternative. And one that packs more of a punch.

When your thought stream hits an unexpected dam, don't let yourself get flooded. Find a new course. The water always seems to find a way. No sense in backing up.

But sometimes a flood is inevitable and it will come if a way isn't quickly found. Just keep your head above water and eventually you'll find safety.

Droughts and floods are inevitabilities of nature. Life is all about navigating these extremes in search of equilibrium, where there is a steady flow and a calm reservoir.

How have you navigated the dry spells and the floods in your life? Are you finding yourself dying of thirst or struggling to keep your head above water? Perhaps even both, as strange as that sounds?

Just stay the course. Eventually, you'll find the happy middle if you keep it in your sights.

~ Phoenix <3

by Phoenix A. Desertsong, Staff Writer, Healer & Advocate

“One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane.” - Nikola Tesla

Have you ever thought too deeply about something? I certainly have. Doing so can drive you mad. Sometimes you have to learn to step away from things before you can make any real progress.

As Nikola Tesla said, thinking deeply and thinking clearly are definitely not the same thing. I could also bring up Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity: trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Look at how many storybook villains work so hard, but forever fruitlessly, towards an impossible goal. You can't blame them for not thinking deeply and being persistent. But, clarity of thought certainly isn't in their repertoire. It's tragic, really.

Personally, I prefer villains who can in fact think clearly. Those tend to be the most dangerous and fascinating ones for me. Exercises in futility get tiresome for me after awhile.

Sadly enough, real life people exercise futility far too often. I most certainly am guilty of exercising insane levels of futility. If you start thinking too deeply about something that can unfortunately mess you up fairly badly.

If you start finding your thinking derailing, take a break. No matter how urgent something might be, take what time you can. You're better off finding a moment of clarity than sinking into hours of deep thought that could just send you down a deep dark tunnel of insanity.

Back when Tesla first said this quote, he felt that the scientists of his day were thinking more deeply than clearly. With how many “experts” and highly specialized fields we have today, it’s easier than ever to think a bit too deeply about something. It’s easy when studying something too closely to lose perspective. He's still right and this advice is still very good.

Clear thinking is the best way to go. If you find yourself lost in thought, then perhaps you’ve been on that track a bit too long. Shift gears, then come back with a clearer head. You and your exploits will be better off for it.

~ Phoenix <3

One night, about a year or so ago, I went to grab some caffeine after dark (yeah, yeah, I know it's bad, let's get to the real story). Silly me didn't check the weather beforehand (not that I ever do). Wouldn't you know that on the way back I ended up surrounded by an electrical storm – you know, the kind where the lightning is shooting straight across the air in all directions, but it isn't even raining? Yeah, those. I attract storms regularly, so this was far from the first time I'd been in one like it.

Instead of running screaming down the street, I just calmly returned my walk home as lightning was flying around me from all sides. I must say, I felt rather invincible and powerful in some of those moments, even though I realize I am not. Instead of scaring me, what the storm did was have me reflecting. Funny thing is, even when I was a child years before and a tornado was right behind us, I still didn't scream. It was literally following us as we raced away in a vehicle that we all had to jump in to escape it.

You see, I attract storms often, both literally and figuratively. Like the true survivor that I am, I always come out whole. More than that, I am usually better than I was before. I am a true believer that storms are not meant to harm us, but to shape us. They are supposed to cleanse us, show us things we wouldn't see normally, test us, and even us break us down so that we are fresh and ready for what's to come.

You would not believe some of the storms I have seen in my life, starting at just a small age. My child self went through more terror than some would even dream up in a nightmare. That's all in the past now and I am at the stage where I am thankful for it (though would never wish it on anyone) because it made me the person I am today.

Just like literal storms often produce rainbows and make the plants grow, both kinds of storms can do the same within us. Not many days prior to the lightning storm, I was also close to a tornado and several other storms. As a child (okay and even as an adult...shhh), I identified with the X-Men comic book character named Storm. My brother and I even role-played the comics with me as Storm (nothing you can say here because I proudly proclaim both my nerdiness, as well as my geekiness) for quite a long while.

Do I try to fight the storms I attract in all life aspects? Hell no! I embrace them and rise above them each and every time. Like Storm from the X-Men, sometimes I even figure out how to control them, where appropriate. I always come out a stronger, more ready person than ever before. Do I think I will ever be done with storms? I hope not because I want to keep growing and thriving until the day I am meant to leave this life.

Do you attract storms?

This photo works well as a facebook cover. But feel free to use it how you wish, provided you follow our usage guidelines below.

Quote: "Stand firm, be kind, be an umbrella to yourself and others, and always take risks. Make it happen and make it awesome!"
~Lyn Lomasi

Do you find yourself asking the question "Why am I working so hard with little to no results?" You aren't alone. Many people ask this question. Whether you relate this to a low-paying dead-end job or to some other situation in life, there still is hope. In fact, each time you work hard, you are getting results. You just may not see them. What do I mean? Read on to find out.

This message came to me in an odd way, which is often true for many things in life. This morning I was playing a game on the Facebook website called Farm Town, a game which several friends of mine are addicted to. Part of the game requires plowing fields to ready them for the crops. Probably due to a temporary glitch, when I placed one field, my character paid the money due and did the hard work, but the field did not plow. She did however still earn the experience points due.

This incident made me think about real life. Sometimes people work so hard, yet do not see the results expected. Does that mean the hard work was for nothing? Some may say yes here. I disagree. With hard work comes experience. Therefore, even though expected results are not always gained, that does not mean the hard work was for nothing. In fact, there are times where experience can be more valuable than any money or monetary award.

If you are relating your hard work with no results to a job, think about that for a moment. It's true that it's no fun to work hard day in and day out for minimum wage or less money than you believe you deserve for that work. However, at the present, many are taking whatever job they can get. If that's you and there is not another income opportunity, make the most of it. How?

Reap the benefits of experience, just like the farmer who plows many fields will learn to do it better over time. Keep working hard and learn as you do. That experience could help later down the road when there is better opportunity. That better opportunity may even exist within the very company you are putting all that time and effort into.

When it comes time to choose someone for a better position within the company, who do you think they'll look at first - the slacker on the phone all day or the hard worker? Even if it is not within that company that you advance, the experience you gained could come in handy for a future position and also looks good on a resume.

This can also be applied to any situation or goal in life where you are working hard to reach your desired result but feel like you're not reaching it. You are gaining experience and knowledge along the way. Some goals require a bit of extra knowledge to fully appreciate. Some require extra obstacles as well so that once you get there, you are strong enough to reap the benefits of the reward.

Hard work is not for nothing. It does eventually pay off, just not always in the way people expect.

*I originally published a version of this on 6/13/2009 via Yahoo Contributor Network

** Last updated 9/24/2020