In recent times, I've been retreating to safe topics writing about various amusements. It's as if I'm unwilling to truly unearth anything that could be particularly dangerous to my sanity. But now, I find myself particularly fascinated by one of the difficult thoughts that have crossed my mind.
The thought in question deals with a particularly interesting topic: mapping the unconscious. Sometimes, I find that my mind gives something a name before I truly understand what it is that I am naming. I don't think this is an uncommon practice when it comes to creativity. Although there is often at least a bit of forethought involved in assigning names, sometimes there isn't.
In my poetry, for example, I often take some difficult thought, give it some sort of name, and describe it in some way. It's often inspired by the echoes of my unconscious upon waking. People seem to enjoy the fruits of these exercises. Honestly, though, most of my poems were simply my way of dealing with thoughts I couldn't otherwise express. I never really considered myself a poet.
Therefore, my poetry has been a way to sort of "map" the workings of my unconscious mind. It's one way that I try to hit on characters, concepts, and settings that my brain conjures up while I'm sleeping. There are many interpretations of dreams and studies on the workings of the unconscious mind. But I believe it can be extremely dangerous to read too much into dreams. What we actually remember from dreams upon waking is often greatly distorted or is so strange and paradoxical. Because of this, it's difficult to frame it in any meaningful way to explain it to others.
The difficult thoughts that I often find myself harboring upon waking each morning I do not believe are fully formed. We all awake with difficult thoughts at one time or another, I'm sure, some more than others. Some are more troubling than others,. With the many stresses I've weathered at times, they can become far more troubling and much more difficult to express.
Rather than focusing on writing about amusements just for the sake of being able to write something easily, I should instead be focusing on "mapping" my thought process. It's even more important when it comes to dealing with difficult thoughts. I don't really want to do it so much for myself or even my own edification. It's more to find some sort of way to release the frustrations I've had about not writing anything much inspiring in such a long while. I feel at times that my work gets awfully dull and I need new sources of inspiration.
Perhaps by mapping the journey that my mind takes in dealing with difficult thoughts, I can finally feel a bit more settled. So many of these thoughts often spring from my unconscious to my conscious without warning. Indeed, trying to reason through the workings of the unconscious while conscious can be dangerous. But I suppose that it's as they say: if it's dangerous, but it has a potentially huge reward, then it's probably worth doing.