I know what I want to get done. But, life tends to take you in directions you never thought of going. Many of those directions are scary at first. Often, I'll try to cling to a comfort zone. I simply can’t do that anymore.
My creative energy waxes and wanes. But, even when it's strong, then my focus tends to wander. This is a fairly common problem, though, as it turns out.
Human beings are always in constant flux, taking in new stimuli and forming new synaptic pathways… all of that scientific junk. No person is a static object. Each of us is constantly evolving in ways that we do not at first realize until we actually sit back and reflect. Most of us grow in ways that aren’t obvious to ourselves. Sometimes they're in ways that are sometimes more obvious to others.
Then again, we aren't always moving forward, either. Actually, many of us backtrack in ways that only those truly close to us will understand. I’ll admit I’ve backtracked far too often. But I never stop trying, even when failure seems inevitable.
That’s exactly it, though. You can’t expect failure, or that’s all you’ll get. When will I finally get that?
Anyway, so often I feel that everything for me is in flux. That's when I need to step back and see that I’ve got some good things going. But, I still have to decide where I’m going as a person.
So, when someone you love feels distant, this is probably what’s happening. When your loved one is feeling in flux, it can be immensely frustrating. But things almost always get worse before they get better. Sometimes, you truly have to watch someone completely fall apart before you get to see that person truly shine. That’s painful. But it happens.
We're all in flux in one way or another constantly. It doesn't matter how successful someone might appear or how confident that person may seem. There's always that little kink in the armor that only those that truly know someone can see.
I have a lot of kinks. I’m working on them.
It’s OK to be in flux. None of us is perfect and never will be. But we can work to be the best individuals that we can be. The world is always in flux. We just have to try and use our energies for the better.
Sometimes, each of us will fall short. But the whole “pick yourself up and keep going” bit is really true. We just have to constantly keep growing.
Are you feeling in flux? Are you not sure yet where you’re going. No one really does. But wherever it is, if you keep focusing on your own growth, you’ll get there - wherever that may be. I believe in you.
~ Phoenix <3