Back in December of 2014, I was on my deathbed with a rare cancer known as mediastinal seminoma. It was highly treatable, fortunately for me, but it was a long, dreadful struggle between the chemotherapy, the chemo's side effects, and recovery. I really wasn't myself even for up to a year after the chemo was finished. It was actually recommended that I have what was left of the tumor - dead as it was - surgically removed by my doctors in Boston. I declined the surgery, as it was essentially open heart surgery and I wasn't going to be bed-ridden for another few months. And it was too risky.
I said at the time that when it was all over I would write a book about my experiences. But I found myself asking myself, "What is there to say, really?"
That seems like an odd thing to think, doesn't it? I should have plenty to say about my experience, right? No, not really. I feel like the more that I think about it, the more that I give attention to the cancer I beat, and why should I? Why do I think this way?
Yet I lived in this fear that the cancer would just suddenly re-emerge. And it hasn't. But I've seen it come back with so many people, and just have it be a silent killer out of nowhere.
I'm a believer that the cancer happened the way that it did to wake me up and realize how precious life really is. At the time it did. But so much has happened since then. You would think that would be a story in itself. But again, what is there to say? Life happens? Yeah, pretty much. You can't let the sometimes greatly cruel randomness of life take away what's precious to you in it. That's the lesson to take away from any crappy thing that happens to you.
So what else is there to say about my battle with cancer that hasn't been said already? What unique perspective do I have to share? Why do I struggle so much to talk about it?
When I can finally answer that question, I'll let you know.
But in the meantime, I will just say this. If there's something that people keep pestering you to talk about, and you don't want to, don't give in. When the time is right, if the occasion presents itself, you will.