Country movie rehab for city slickers is pure bullshit

Seriously, folks, what's up with these bogus movies about city people moving to the country and being rehabilitated by country folk? Not all city people are lazy, stupid and inept. Not all country people are well versed in animal husbandry and wise about life. Not all have red necks and white socks either. Some actually have tv's and computers. Some absolutely hate country music. Some love it.

These are modern times, you guys. Country people vary just as much as city people. Some, like me, are even (gasp!) vegans. Not everyone has a huge farmhouse with plenty of extra bedrooms. And those handmade quilts? Ya, you guessed it. Not every country person goes to quilting bees, cans veggies or makes their own jam. Some are too busy being doctors, lawyers or rock stars.

Seriously? Who falls for this crap? Country life is great but we're not all cowboys or even farmers. We're not all riding around in beat up rusted pick up trucks, decked out in our cowboy hats and pointy boots, eating beans and rounding up cattle in the back 40. OK wait, I do eat a lot of beans. Vegan protein, you know? But I prefer comfortable clothing and vehicles that actually work.

How about those women who move to the country after their spouse runs off or dies? They meet that rough and tough handsome cowboy who gives them the hard slap in the face lesson they supposedly need, tames them like a wild pony, then rides off on them into the sunset? Yes, You heard that right. And why does he always have a crippled ex-wife he takes care of, out of the goodness of his heart? What a guy, right?

Oh, don't forget the barn dance. Gotta have one in every country movie so they can have that whispering moment where they finally fall for each other. And that old, abandoned house they renovate together, laughing madly with paint all over their blue jeans. Childhood memory flashbacks are also a must have. Gotta squeeze those in. Good grief, no wonder some women are so confused about what love is.

Now, don't get me wrong. All due respect. Some people do fit the stereotypes. And there's nothing wrong with that if that's who they really are. But even those people are neither wiser, nor more backwards than city people. Their country life isn't all pie eating contests and county fair ribbons. True, it's not fancy. It's not always peaceful, though. They're not all sitting around in their rocking chairs, drinking lemonade and shucking corn with Grandma.

As for me and Gary, we do look at the stars a lot. It's darker here so they shine more brightly. We have a garden. It's small but there's nothing like eating fresh veggies you grew yourself. It's nice to live where traffic jams aren't a thing. Everyone waves at you when they drive by, whether they know you or not. That's a for real thing that I love about country life. So there you go. See? Some things are appreciated by city slickers and country folks alike. We're not that much different.

Life is so much better when you find common ground instead of buying into ridiculous stereotypes, you guys. After all, most stereotypes are designed to cause animosity, not bring us together. I say to each his own as long as no harm is done. And that is no bullshit. Of course, I'm not a true city slicker. I grew up in the country. I know how to look out for the pies. Then again, I'm just a country bumpkin. What do I know?