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by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Writing and music can both be wonderful outlets for talent as well as feelings. When combined together, it can greatly help kids relieve stress. Plus, it's a fun way to sneak in some writing practice and also to let them use their creativity, imagination, and thinking skills. This is a method I've had success using with my own kids and I hope it helps others as well.
Combating Sibling Rivalry When siblings are arguing, I find that having them write songs is a great way for them to deal with those feelings. Holding feelings in is no good. But neither is acting them out on each other. Writing a song about it helps the kids relieve tension by getting the feelings out in a more constructive manner. When the kids reread the or sing the lyrics, they may laugh and find what they wrote is not really that bad after all. Expressing Hurt Feelings When a child gets their feelings hurt, sometimes they need someone to talk to. Other times they just want to be alone. That alone time may be the perfect opportunity for a kid to express hurt feelings through song. Sometimes just the act of writing it all down can help kids relieve stress. Performing it as a blues song can be fun for the child as well as the audience. The audience could be a parent or the whole family. It depends on what the child feels they want to do. Expressing Other Stressful Feelings Besides sibling rivalry and hurt feelings, there are a host of other things that may lead to stress in kids. These could be things like being bullied, keeping up with grades in school, weight issues, and many more. Writing feelings in song form gives kids a positive outlet for expression. Also, if the songs are then performed afterward, more stress relief can come in the singing and dancing. Also, in the dancing can be some great exercise, which is another fun and easy way to help reduce stress in kids. Expressing Happiness Yes, writing songs can be wonderful when a child is stressed, but also don't forget to do so when your child is happy as well. Songwriting is a fun activity that the family can do together. It can also lead to laughter, which in my experience can reduce stress significantly. Kids can each write their own songs or everyone can write songs together. Even try a combination. Performing the songs afterward can be fun for the kids and parents both. *Note that the author is not a licensed medical professional and the above is for informational purposes only. If your child is stressed, as with any health issues, contact his or her pediatrician. **I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network
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by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  "But mommy, I don't like my car seat." If your child says that often, you might be wondering if he or she is old enough to forgo the car seat. But before you give in to a child's whims, you need to check the safety guidelines and laws. How long should a child use a car seat? Being a mom and former nanny, I study car seat guidelines often and keep up with new information.
When Does a Child Start Using a Car Seat? From the moment a child is born, any time the infant is in a vehicle, a car seat is required. In fact, newborn babies cannot go home from the hospital unless it is proven that they have properly installed car seats to ride home in. Some hospitals will even give new mothers a free car seat to ensure this happens. A car seat safety class may be required to obtain the car seat. As soon as your infant starts riding in any vehicle, that's when it's time for a car seat. Never allow an infant to ride in a vehicle without the proper car seat for his or her age and stage. The Importance of Following Updated Car Seat Guidelines Car seat guidelines are often modified to keep up with new discoveries and safety measures. These guidelines are developed based on many different factors, such as laws and health and safety studies. Not following these guidelines can put your child in danger . Data from the National Center for Health Statistics states that vehicle crashes are the leading cause of death for kids aged 3 to 14. Proper car seat usage can help prevent some of these deaths by up to 71% for infants and up to 54% for toddlers. How Long Should A Child Use a Car Seat? At what age or stage should a child stop using a car seat? This actually depends on the child. The 2010 AAP guidelines for car seat safety recommend that a child stay in a booster seat until they reach the height of 4' 9". This usually occurs somewhere between the ages of 8-12 years. The purpose of a booster seat is so that the adult restraint (seat belt) fits over the child properly. If the lap and shoulder belt do not properly fit your child, that means a booster seat should be used. The lap belt should be situated snugly across the thighs and the shoulder belt should be secured across the chest and shoulder. If the shoulder belt is at the neck or throat, your child still needs a booster seat. *This is not meant to be a complete guide to car seat safety. Always stay updated on all of the proper car seat safety guidelines to keep your infants and children safe in a motor vehicle. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  "Smack!" With your mouth wide open, you ask "Did my toddler just hit me?" As strangers and friends look on, you struggle to get the situation under control. Feeling the sting of the hand from none other than your own precious little toddler can be hard. It's even more difficult when you're in public. I've dealt with this situation both as an onlooker, as well as from a personal standpoint.
Act immediately. The most important thing you can do with a behavior like this is regain control as soon as possible. As soon as your toddler hits you, there needs to be an action from you. This could vary, depending on your child, the severity of the incident, and your parenting methods. Whether you put your child in timeout, leave the location, or something else entirely, it needs to be done right away. Let your toddler know you mean business. Toddlers like pushing buttons. This is how they learn how to interact with people. Remember that while very smart, this is a stage where kids are trying to understand which behaviors are acceptable. They will be very persistent and will also test you to see what they can get away with. Some may do it more in public because they feel you are more vulnerable to quickly placating them. Whatever you let them do is what they will believe to be correct. If smacking you gets a giggle or a request, this behavior will be repeated. I once had a friend who unintentionally taught her toddler to hit her on the leg every time he wanted her attention. If she didn't comply, he kept at it until she gave in. She would joke about how cute it was. It wasn't cute anymore when he attempted the same trick with a teacher. Toddlers repeat what they see. If you use spanking as discipline in your home, your toddler could be repeating the behavior. They also could be repeating what a friend or sibling does. Perhaps she saw hitting on TV. Just because your toddler is hitting you, it doesn't mean she hates you. She may simply be repeating an action she saw elsewhere. If you don't want your toddler to hit you or anyone else, do your best not to let her be around that behavior. Everyone will know best. If your toddler hits you in public, be prepared for advice from all sides. Any and every one will have their thoughts on the matter. It's a natural instinct, especially for fellow parents, to speak up on such matters. Some thoughts may be lighthearted. But other words may sting. For your toddler's sake, keep cool. If you see things are headed in the wrong direction, it's best to leave the scene. The worst thing you can do when your toddler is hitting is to cause other negative behaviors, such as arguing. Emphasize the pain. Even if it doesn't hurt much when your toddler hits you, he needs to know that it can. Now this does not mean you should hit him back. That's not a very positive thing to do and if you're in public (or even in private) it could land you discipline time, instead of your toddler. There are other ways to model feelings. Make sad faces and also ask your toddler what it feels like when he gets hit by someone. Make it clear that hitting gets the bad attention, not the good attention. Compare hitting to hugs and ask your toddler which one he likes better. Answer with a "me too" when he chooses hugs. Then, give him a big hug and tell him you hope he gives you lots more of those every day. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Stop Kids From Jumping on Couches and Beds  Image (c) Lyn Lomasi; All Rights Reserved "Lisa, get off the couch like that! I told you it's only for sitting." "James, the bed is for sleeping, not jumping." If this sounds like your house, you may be looking for ways to deter kids from jumping on the furniture. Who doesn't like to bounce around and what bounces better than a couch or bed in a kid's eyes? They may not understand exactly why it's such a bad idea.
Explain what can happen. Furniture may wear out from all the bouncing. That could be worrisome for some parents. Furniture isn't cheap. But if you're like me, even though replacement isn't ideal, that's the least of your concerns. When you have kids, it's pretty much a given that things will break. But kids do need to understand that even though bouncing on furniture is fun, it can also be dangerous. They can get hurt. Younger kids might get that message best by singing songs. A good example is "Ten Little Monkeys Jumping On The Bed" where the monkeys disappear one by one because of getting injured while jumping on the bed. Older kids should know better. However, a reminder can do them some good if they are still jumping on furniture. Choose a punishment and make it clear. This is key to making the point that furniture is not for jumping on. Choose a punishment according to your child's age and abilities. Your child needs to know that is what will happen each time he jumps on the bed, couch, or other furniture. Establish this from the very beginning if possible. If your child has already started to jump on the furniture, be sure he knows this new rule. Some ideas may be time out, loss of a privilege, and even an allowance markdown. Be consistent with your rule. If you tell your child the rule but only enforce it sometimes, it doesn't actually help to have the rule. If you want your child to take you seriously, you need to take the chosen action every single time she jumps on the furniture. Letting it go even once can cause a backslide and it could make it even more difficult to get the situation under control. Being consistent also applies from room-to-room. If you don't allow couch jumping, then don't allow bed or chair jumping either. Changing things from one area to the next can be confusing for a child. Give them an alternative. Perhaps the kids are jumping on the furniture because it's simply fun to do so. Give them another option. You can't really expect them to want to stop something fun without an equally enticing option. A kid-safe trampoline is one option. An inflatable bounce house or a pogo stick are also great for bouncing. Whether you choose one of those or something else, make sure it's as fun as (or more fun than) jumping on the couch or bed. If the alternative option is less fun, its not going to deter the kids from the furniture for long. Let them expend some energy. Maybe the kids just have extra energy to waste. Since they are indoors, the furniture is their first target. Let them run around in the backyard or take them to the park. Whenever my kids have extra energy, I like to take them for long walks on local nature trails. If kids aren't allowed to let out all their energy, they will begin trying to let it out in creative ways. Allowing them plenty of physical play can help prevent them from being too energetic indoors, which could be good for your furniture. It's not 100% foolproof, but it should at least cut down on these instances. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Image (c) Lyn Lomasi; All Rights Reserved As kids grow older, especially into the tween and teen years, it's natural for them to become more independent. But don't let that independence take away the closeness in your family. This doesn't mean you should embarrass them by being too attached in front of their friends. In fact, by giving your tweens space, you can remain close to them and even strengthen bonds. It may seem strange to think of space and bonding as related. But as a current parent of tweens, it has been a very effective method.
Giving tweens space shows them you understand. How many times have we all heard kids state their parents don't understand them? By giving them space, you can show them you do indeed understand their needs. Be sure to let them know you understand that need and even talk to them about when you were their age. Sometimes they are going through emotional and physical changes and just want to be alone. Other times, they may want to enjoy their friends, a TV show, or a good book without you in the room. As long as they aren't doing anything wrong, give them some space to enjoy life. When tweens have space, they may be more willing to come to you for help. Extra freedom and space can help tweens sort out things in their minds. Remember that they have thoughts, issues, and feelings too. Being a kid does not exempt them from life. Now, more than ever, tweens face a wide variety of confusing and conflicting situations every day. Knowing you trust them enough to give them freedom can help build trust so they'll be willing to come to you when they should. Space can equate to stronger bonding. You may find that having separate time away from your tween causes you both to want some quality time as well. Sometimes being apart from those you care about shows people how much they really need each other. Continue to give your tween space. But you can also take special time together that''s convenient for both of you to keep that parent-child bond going strong. Choose activities you both enjoy to make the most of your time together. Respecting your tween's privacy shows her you care. Along with space comes privacy. If your tween wants to be alone, let her do that. She may just be doing homework. She may also want to talk to her friends on the phone, read a book, or even just daydream. No matter what she wants to do, as long it isn't harmful to herself or others, give her room to make her own decisions. Don't walk into her room checking up every two minutes and don't spy on her conversations or read her diary. When she confides in you, don't tell others - especially her friends - about the conversations. This respect for privacy shows her you care and keeps that parent-child bond going strong. As your child grows, the relationship will change but the love stays. Tweens need space in order to learn and grow. Just because he doesn't want to spend every waking moment with you, it doesn't change his love for you. It's healthy for tweens to have independence with many choices and aspects of life. It's part of preparation for life when they finally get out on their own later in life. Forcing your tween to be with you every moment and share every single secret and moment with you can cause tension and rebellion. But giving them the space they need can help keep a strong and healthy relationship. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Image (c) Lyn Lomasi; All Rights Reserved You wanted to go outside with the kids today, but instead it's raining on your parade. So what? As long as there's no lightning or other severe weather involved, head out anyway. There are plenty of activities you can do in the rain with the kids. My kids and I love being outdoors and we take every opportunity we get - rain or shine. Here are some of our favorite outdoor activities for rainy days.
Dance Sing fun songs together and dance in the rain. Rain should be a cause for celebration, not gloominess. The kids might like to do classic childhood song and dance routines or they might be interested on more popular tunes. Either way, turn up the vocals and turn on the moves. Even though it's already raining, this is a good opportunity to teach the kids about Native rain dances. Sing Silly Songs You and the kids can also make up silly songs while dancing in the rain. Observe what's going on during the rainfall and sing about that. You might also sing about the silly dance someone is doing. There are also many classic rain songs that you and the kids can sing together. You may have sung them together many times before. If so, it should be easy to come up with something. Look For Worms Some of you might be turning up your faces at this one. But this is a great time to study worms. They like to come out during and after a rainfall. Put them in enclosed dark container filled with dirt. Later you can use them for scientific observation. You can even sing silly songs about worms while doing this. It might help take away the creepy part for kids who are afraid to touch them. For ytounger kids, you may also want to use my fun preschool lesson plan on worms. Just Feel It Have you ever just stood in the rain and let it fall on you? You and the kids can do this together. Talk about what it feels like. See which animals and insects like to come out in the rain and which ones hide. How long does it take before everyone gets soaked? Is it seconds or minutes? Are there certain clothing items that take longer to wet than others? Catch The Rain If you know beforehand that it's going to rain, stick a bucket outside before it starts. Leave it there the entire time it's raining. This can sit there while you and the kids are enjoying the other rainy day activities. Once the rain has stopped, get a ruler and measure how many inches are in the bucket. This is one way to measure the rainfall. Once you're done measuring it, you can reuse the bucket water to water a plant - preferably an indoor one that didn't catch the rain. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network Eco-Friendly Parenting Tips for Going to the Park by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Image (c) Lyn Lomasi; All Rights Reserved Going to the park with the kids is fun. But it also can be bad for the environment if you aren't careful. I try my best to teach my kids greener ways to do everything, including going to the park. What's greener than the park? That may sound true in retrospect, but waste and mistreatment makes it not so green. So, how do you green your park trips?
Pack a Green Lunch When packing lunch for the park, be cautious of the potential waste. Whenever possible, avoid disposable items and go for reusable, BPA free, earth-friendly containers and dishes. If you absolutely must use disposable, at least use something biodegradable or recyclable. Paper, plastic, and styrofoam disposable dinnerware and drinkware may seem easier. But at what cost? These items are often non-biodegradable and sit in landfills destroying the earth. Do you know how many trees are cut down and how many toxic chemicals are emitted into the air to create these items? The most green lunch would likely be made of 100% natural and locally grown foods, not be packaged in a container, and be fully consumed with nothing left over. However, some people will not comply out of convenience. Therefore, the above tips will help reduce some of the waste. Reduce Waste at the Park In line with creating less waste, teach your kids not to litter at the park. Anything you bring with you should go home with you. If it's trash, it goes in the proper receptacle. If it's recyclable, same thing. Some parks do not have a recycle bin. In that case, take it home with you and recycle it yourself. Keeping the park clean helps foster a healthy environment, which in turn is good for the kids. Avoid bringing unnecessary items to the park with you. That includes lunch items. But it also includes toys and other entertainment items. If the kids color at the park, don't let their papers litter the ground. If they blow bubbles, be sure the bottles and wands are taken home for rinse and reuse or recycling. Visit Condo Blues for an eco-friendly bubble recipe. In addition to reducing your own waste when at the park with the kids, you can help combat the problem further. Help clean up other people's waste from the park. Go through the same routine you would with your own trash. Dispose of it properly, collecting recyclable items or placing them in receptacles if available. Avoid Chemicals Perfumes, products for the car, cleaning supplies, and even some toys (such as commercially sold bubbles) contain chemicals. These chemicals can pollute the park. Not only does this destroy the plants, but think of the animals that live in the park. It can be hazardous to their health and even deadly. If you absolutely must use some of these products, at least go for an all-natural green version. Impact of Greening the Park Routine You may not think one family cleaning up after themselves and others at the park can make a difference. Think again. How many times do you visit the park in a year? How much waste could be accrued in that time period if not picked up. In two years? Five? Looking at the big picture can help illustrate how much impact you and the kids could have on he environment. It's your choice whether to make that impact negative or positive. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  "But Jenny's mom lets her do that." The problem? Jenny is 16 and your daughter is only 11. What happens when tweens think they are equivalent to teens? It's very common since kids between 8-12 years of age are able to do many things on their own. Because they can physically act upon things and make choices, many tweens tend to think this means they should be allowed. The problem with this is that there are certain things they simply should not be doing until they are older.
Older siblings can play a role both directly and indirectly. Observing an older sister or brother with more privileges may seem unfair to your tween. Be sure your older kids aren't teasing about their extra privileges. It's also important to make it clear that there are certain age requirements, depending on each new venture in life. If you have more than one child, you need to be consistent with the age a child must be before being allowed to do certain things, such as dating, babysitting, and handling other responsibilities. Kids with younger siblings may mature quickly. Tweens will naturally look up to their teen siblings. Most kids want to be just like their big sister or big brother. This is a healthy phenomenon and can help kids learn important life lessons. But it can also backfire at times. Sometimes kids want to be entirely too much like their older siblings and mature faster than we'd like them to. To prevent this from happening, I try to make sure each of my kids has their own separate interests they pursue. Sometimes the distraction of their own unique activities can deter thoughts of participating in things meant for the older kids. Peer pressure may be to blame. Not all parents agree on what is and isn't appropriate at various ages and stages. When tweens see their friends doing things they cannot do, they suddenly want to do them even more. Peer pressure is often a steady battle throughout the tween and teenage years. To help combat it as much as possible, parents can teach their tweens the value of self-worth and how important it is to remain true to oneself. Teaching tweens to make smart choices based on analysis, rather than quick-thinking and pressure to be like everyone else, is important. Observing child stars may give off mixed messages. Watching the way stars behave on television, in movies, and even in real life can give kids a clouded perception of what life should be like. Naturally, they will want to have and do the things they see in these kids. As a parent, it's important to let kids know the difference between reality and film. It's also important they know the difference between a star's life and an everyday person's life. Let them know that the fraction of star's lives we see is not always a good indicator of how they actually live. Some things could be skewed for ratings, photos can be airbrushed, and we don't see how they live behind closed doors. Kids need to know that behind all the glamor, stars are just people, like you and me. Your tween likely looks up to you. Just as your tween may look up to older siblings and friends, he also may look up to you. Obviously, your tween cannot do everything that you do. However, that may not stop her from wanting to. You can allow your tween to participate in certain things with you and let him know why he cannot do the others. For instance, let him wear your clothes if they fit. Take him to work on "Take Your Kids to Work Day". Have Mom and Daughter or Dad and Son days. At the same time, encourage your tween to be himself as well. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network |
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Lyn Lomasi is founder and owner of the Brand Shamans network. She is your brand healing, soul healing, marketing & content superhero to the rescue! Running a network of websites, tackling deadlines single-handedly, and coaching fellow writers, brands, & entrepreneurs to be thought leaders is her top priority.
While rescuing civilians from boring content and brands, this awesomely crazy family conquers the world, managing Intent-sive Nature while going on Upstream Parenting adventures & lessons, sometimes in an RV. They strive to cuddle with lions and giraffes. Until then, they settle for rescue dogs and cats. By supporting us, you support a single parent, healer, and minority small business that donates to and/or stands for several causes, including homeless pets, homeless people, trans youth, equality, helping starving artists, and more! A portion of all proceeds from our all-inclusive store, Intent-sive Nature goes toward worthy causes. For guidance in the world of freelance writing or for advice on her specialty topics, Ask Lyn. Archives
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