normally fills the mop bucket, have him mop the floors as well. The goal is to expand on current tasks and add on new ones as needed. This helps encourage independence at a pace your child can handle.
Give tweens full responsibility for any pets they have. Your tween may already have small pet-related tasks, such as feeding them, cleaning food dishes, playing with them, etc. But try slowly adding on more tasks as can be handled until the pet's full responsibility is up to your tween child. For instance, a 7-year-old may play with her hamster, feed her, and give her small treats as necessary. As she can handle it throughout the months and years, cage changing and cleaning and other tasks can be added. Start teaching tweens to babysit with 'mommy's helper' tasks. Depending on your tween's age and maturity, being what's called a mommy's helper can aid in teaching independence. A mommy's helper is a babysitter or nanny that tends to the younger kids while the responsible adult is still present. Basically, this tween will be responsible for entertaining siblings and preparing simple snacks and meals. It's similar to babysitting, except that there is a responsible adult around to handle the more serious tasks. A mommy's helper usually busies the younger kids while mom works, cleans, or handles other household duties. Enroll your tween in a sport or extracurricular activity. It's true that being involved in sports and activities teaches kids teamwork. But it also teaches independence. They have to learn to do things without you there to help. While you may be sitting on the sidelines at a game, it is up your tween to take action. It's especially helpful if your tween becomes team captain or gets to lead one or more classes with activity instruction. Be independent yourself. If your tween sees you depending on others to get things done, that's the example that will be followed. But if you show that you can do things with or without the assistance of others, that can go a very long way. Because I work from home without a boss, my kids have seen me be very independent from the start. Even when I held more traditional jobs, I've always been a do-it-yourselfer. Whether you think so or not, the things you say and do are going to rub off on your kids. Don't be afraid to let go. Some of the resistance to independence tweens can feel may be due in part to your own resistance. If you can't let go of the security blanket, then neither will your tween. Being free to do things and make decisions on their own prepares tweens for life. While you can't completely let go at this stage, it's important to ease up on controlling the things they can handle on their own.
new ball game full of new discoveries, milestones, and successes and failures. If you pay attention to your tween, you'll be prepared to beat that teen attitude with a smile. Believe me, your effort will be much appreciated.
Letting go is hard, but necessary. Teens need much more space than younger kids. Not only are they likely going through an emotional roller coaster. But being independent is a big part of growing into the adult stage. When your tween starts to become a teen, it's the perfect time to prepare yourself by letting go of certain things. Let your tween make certain choices in preparation for becoming a teen. You can't (and shouldn't) control everything. You're still in charge, but in a different way. Now, just because you will let go of some things when your tween becomes a teen, it doesn't necessarily mean you aren't the boss. You still have the final word and your tween should know this. However, your tween needs to also feel secure in making some decisions without your help. This will become even more necessary once your tween matures into the teenage years. Just choose your time together wisely and pick your battles. Take it one step at a time. It's not going to be easy letting go of your baby or realizing that baby is getting closer to becoming an adult. Just relax and take things as they come. Ease yourself into the process by slowly giving up things within reason. Talk to parents who have been down that road before. Your tween is likely going to be acting differently than a few years ago. There will be new interests, new friends, more mature looks, and possibly a new attitude. It's all a natural part of life, as hard as it may be to watch unfold. For every difficult moment, there will be many happy ones. Always remember that. Find different activities to share. Just because your tween is turning into a teenager, it doesn't mean you can't still have fun together. But your tween's idea of fun may be entirely different than before. Listen your growing child's opinions and choices and let them be heard. Savor the memories from your prior family destinations and activities. Then, make new ones to treasure that go along with your growing teen's needs. Trips to the mall may start to involve movie play dates and makeovers instead of the kiddie play area and ice cream cones. Find out those new things your tween is into and learn how to make them work for you both. Who cares if you don't like the latest band? Take your tween to that concert or buy the music anyway.  Image © Daddy-David; Flickr.com After giving birth, you can expect to feel a variety of emotions, such as relief and joy. Along with that joy might come questions of what to expect, as well as how to care for your infant. Below are some newborn baby care tips that should help you care for your baby and relieve concerns and experiences you might encounter.
Feeding Your Newborn Baby The decision to breastfeed or bottle feed your infant will be one of the very first decisions you will have to make as a mother. This decision should be made very soon after the baby is born so that he or she can feed. When making this decision, consider which option is best for the health of both you and your baby. Our Newborn Feeding Guide For New Moms might help. Newborn Baby Sleeping Schedule Newborn infants will be sleeping the majority of the time. This is completely normal. However, if your newborn baby is not sleeping much, that could be cause for concern. Newborn babies will not sleep through the night and should not be expected to, as they need to feed often. If you are concerned about your newborn’s sleep habits, always ask the doctors in the hospital before discharge (or your baby’s pediatrician afterward). Diapering Diapering might be confusing at first, especially for those who have never changed a diaper before. Choosing between cloth and disposables is one of several things you may be pondering. You also might need to know exactly how to change a diaper, including how often to do so. There might also be concerns as to what a baby's stool should look like or whether or not to use any rash creams or powders. You can expect the doctors to instruct you about these subjects or refer you to the free classes in the hospital. Either will be very beneficial. Visitors Some mothers may enjoy having visitors after birth, while others may not want to be bothered by anyone but another parent of the baby. Whatever your decision, be sure to make it clear before giving birth. That way, you don’t have the stress of unwanted visitors at the hospital. Pacifiers Pacifiers have proven to decrease the risk of SIDS. They should be given to an infant shortly after birth. It can be helpful to bring more than one type of pacifier to the hospital, in case your baby does not prefer those offered in the hospital. You should expect the doctors to discuss pacifier use with you. Congestion If your baby is congested, be sure to mention it to the doctors right away, as it could be a sign of RSV, a very serious illness, especially in infants. Preemies are the most at risk for this, but any infant can develop RSV. Always immediately inform the doctor of any congestion in your infant. Fever Infants rarely get a fever. A fever could be a sign of infection, especially RSV. Inform the doctor right away if your baby has a fever. Since you will still be in the hospital, the doctors may even discover the fever before you do. It is routine for the doctors to keep track of a newborn's temperature. Lanugo Lanugo is thick hair in places on the infant you wouldn't normally see hair. This will disappear over time. Jaundice Jaundice is when the baby's skin is yellow in color. This can be a sign of infection. If you notice jaundice, tell the doctors right away. More From Lyn: How To Help A Newborn Poop Caring For Sensitive Baby Skin 5 Secrets To Successfully Bottle-Feeding Your Infant How Can I Cure My Formula-Fed Baby’s Vomiting? Cure Baby Diaper Rash Quickly and Naturally  Image © Daddy-David; Flickr.com Being a mother is undoubtedly and unarguably one of the hardest, if not "the" hardest job anyone can ever do. Yet, many moms will never get the recognition they deserve. I asked a variety of mothers what the hardest part about being a mom is. Here are their answers.
J. Paul from Aurora, CO answered: "The hardest part is a combination of two things. The first one is saying no to your children, but you do it anyway because you know it's good for them. The other part that's hard is when all the children grow up and leave and you're not really a mom anymore. You're still a mom in one sense, but not in the way you're used to. You really don't know who you are anymore. All you know is being a mom. You lose a big part of who you are." A mom of one from Ephrata, PA wrote: "I guess, that somewhere along the way with worrying about everyone else you kind of forget yourself. Either that or natural childbirth. Ha ha." Charlotte Kuchinsky (Charlie to her friends), a 57 year old mother to 2 and grandmother to 3 originally from Oklahoma, but now residing in Yorktown,VA wrote: "To me, the hardest part about being a mother was realizing that I couldn't be everything they wanted me to be. Mothers are human beings who make mistakes like everyone else does. However, kids have difficulty dealing with, and accepting, those flaws. Having your child look at you with disappointment, even for a truly minor infraction, rips a mother's heart into pieces. It was hard to learn that I had the right to mess up from time to time as long I handled it the right way. It ultimately allowed my children to know it was okay for them to make mistakes as well." MaryAnn DePietro, a mother of one in Roseville, CA wrote: "The hardest part of being a mom for me is there is no time off. What I mean is, it's a hard job and you need a break every now and then. Sometimes I can't get another cup of milk, or play Candyland, or answer another "why "question. But there is never a day off. I guess when they leave for college you get a day off. I bet then I will look back and wish I was still playing Candyland. No matter how hard it gets I would never trade it. M.S. Medina, a mother of four and now raising a grandchild as her own in Southern California had this to say: "The hardest thing to me about being a mom is having to let your kids go - let them make mistakes and learn from them, whether they are two or twenty-two." Tracy from Houston, TX, who is a mother of 2 kids wrote this: "The hardest thing about being a mom, is your own expectations. You want to be perfect, when your children are naturally imperfect people. You may want them to have the best paying job when they grow up so you try to instill all these work habits, information, and hygiene in them before they even get out of elementary school (smiling). Then you try to provide the most stable home environment. In your mind your child is so fragile he or she couldn't even take a beatin' and keep on tickin'. You feel the child will turn out unbalanced, which all your reason knows your child won't with life's minor ups and downs, so to conclude, the hardest thing about being a parent is perfection. It's not possible, but all moms try to reach it for the well being of their children, so you are the hardest part in raising your kids." Ceetee Sheckels, a New York mother "stuck" in Iowa wrote: "The hardest part of being a mom comes approximately 18 years after you bring a child into the world." Ambriel Maji, a mother of one in Pennsylvania said: "The hardest thing about being a mom for me is trying to protect your children when harm is being done and being thrown into brick wall after brick wall because the abuse is not enough or the child does not want to talk to a certain person at an agency. The child doesn't want to go alone with a stranger to talk to them or the room has new toys in it so it's much more interesting to play with new toys than talk about the bad things that are happening to them. It's hard watching something you know is happening and you can't prevent it , yet the courts tell you that you still have to send your child for a visit with the party that is doing the abuse. Lorraine Hayden, a mother of 5 in Syracuse, NY wrote: "The hardest thing about being a mommy for me is dealing with the sibling rivalry between my 12 and 13 year olds. They compete over just about everything.” K. Ray, a 41 year old mom of 5 in Albion, Indiana wrote this in response: "I personally feel that the hardest part about being a mom is finding the time to do the things I enjoy. I'm not saying I regret being a mom, but it's difficult to find time for activities other than taking care of the household and the needs of my family. However, I still cherish every moment with my kids because I realize that someday they will be grown, and I'll miss having them at home. I recall breastfeeding my daughter, and at that time I realized how precious those moments were. Moms shouldn't focus on the negative aspects of parenting because the kids won't stay little forever. My advice to other mothers would be to cherish special moments and try to engrain them in your memory. Someday you'll wish you could go back in time - even if for just a little while, to hold your kids again, spend time with them as children, and remember exactly all the little details that are so easy to forget." A 27 year old mom of 1 in Houston,TX said: "The hardest thing about being a mom for me is not knowing , not having all the answers." An anonymous mom said: "being a single mom and making sure my daughter has what she needs". Kelly Spies, a 34 year old mother of 4 from Merced, California said: "The hardest part about being a mom is watching your your kids grow knowing that with each passing year, there is less and less you can do for them. When they are toddlers, you tie their shoes for them because they can't do it, but pretty soon they're dressing themselves and heading off to school in their car without you. When they get into trouble you can't always rush to their rescue because you know if you do, you will be hurting them later in life. The hardest thing to do as a mother is to sit by and watch your children struggle and stay quiet so they can figure it out on their own. They grow up fast and you still want to be able to help them, but you can't always do it. It makes you feel helpless as a parent because we all want the best for our children". Bunting Resources, a mom of 1 in Washington had this to say: "I would have to say the hardest part about being a mom is the pressure that you have to do the right thing for your child. Every decision that you are making is affecting the rest of their life. Everything else pales in comparison of being hard to that pressure, which I am sure is there to help ensure that we all do what is best for our children. One mom of 2 in Texas wrote: "That is a tough question. I reared my two girls alone and without a support system from the time they were 18 months and 6 y/o, so for me it was not having anyone to share the moments they make you proud; but in general, under normal circumstances, I think I would have to say it would be remembering the following: You are not there to be popular with them or to be their best friend; but that your job is to turn out mature, responsible, moral, respectful/respectable and contributing members of society when they leave home to live on their own. Which means standing firm in the rules and disciplines they will have to follow in society when you are no longer there to fix everything for them. It is a difficult thing to do when all their friends are telling them their parents are too strict or controlling. I say this with all confidence; because it is how things played out in the rearing of my girls; but I can honestly say, I had only one big challenge with each of them in all their lives-- different one with each; but only one of the huge fears we have about our children...you know...what if they get into drugs or promiscuous sex, pregnancy, trouble with the law...those type worries, so I must have done something right, even while working 2 full time jobs...one was convinced to take some OTC speed in 6th grade by an upper-classman and the other skipped a class and got caught, so I was very blessed. They are both on their own with families of their own and I chuckle every time I see them handling their children the same way I did them...yep, Mom was too strict. LOL If only all parents were, the rest of us would not be getting cursed out by 4 year olds in the grocery check out line. So in a nut shell, the hardest thing about being a parent is to actually parent our children; but oh the rewards we (and they) reap when they are on their own if we stand firm and be the grown ups!" About giving her credit for her words, she had this to say: "give it to GOD; because He is the one who trusted me to train them properly, even though I told Him I was not a good choice for the job, and He is the one that kept them safe while I worked 18 hours a day all those years and wasn't home to enforce the rules with my physical presence. There were many days I was so tired I just wanted to let them go and not worry about it for just a few hours; but I couldn't and I didn't." Overview and Words from the Author: As you can see from the comments above, mothers make many hard decisions and handle hard tasks every day. I believe that there are many different ways and methods to parenting. The important part is that we handle it with love and care. The hardest part about being a mom for me is realizing that we are not, and never will be, perfect, no matter how hard we try. I find myself trying to perfect everything I think will affect my children in the future. Sometimes it takes someone else to point out to me that I am trying way too hard. In reading this article, I hope that other mothers will gain a better understanding of their abilities and parenting roles, as well as take time to reflect on themselves, even if just for a few minutes. Perhaps others reading this will gain more respect for what moms (and dads) do every day for their children. Maybe they can read this and be able to reflect upon what mothers might be thinking and how they can help them out from time to time. Mothers, love and care for your children and cherish every moment with them, but don't forget to have a moment for yourself each day, no matter how small that moment may be. Don't forget that you are not perfect. Your children are a part of you and they will love you whether or not you have fresh-baked goodies every single day. Believe me, it took me a while to realize that one. I only bake once a week now. Ha! Also, your children do not have to be involved in every single extra-curricular activity. All they really want is time with you. Playing five different sports or fun classes may sound fun, but don't forget all the stress that may come with it. Pick one favorite activity of your child's that you can enroll your child in. When that activity ends, your child can choose another. They don't all have to be done at once. Take more family outings and simply enjoy being a mother. Eighteen years of childhood may seem like forever, but it will go by very quickly. Enjoy it while you can and stop trying to be perfect all the time. Things run a lot smoother when you are not hard-pressed and full of pressure that comes with trying too hard. Go with the flow and things will flow smoothly. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network  Image © Electric Gnome; Flickr.com When your teen is shouting and stomping, you'll try just about anything to get them to stop. But forget about all those fancy programs. If your teen is the average child without any mental or physical conditions, get back to basics. These simple, yet creative methods work time and again when my teen gets a little cranky.
Find your teen a hobby or let them work. Sometimes a cranky teen is simply a bored teen. Give them something to do. This could be something simple like walking the dog daily. They also may want to volunteer at a local animal shelter. My teen daughter visits so much, she is going to apply for an official position this summer. Sports and local community classes are another way to take up that time and release pent up energies. Department stores, restaurants, and many other establishments often have positions teens can apply for. Spend more time together. You may think they want you to completely disappear. But the truth is, your teen still loves you and wants your attention. Take time out as often as possible to spend with your teen. It doesn't matter so much what you do, as long as you are spending time together. My teen likes me to go with her to the animals shelter. We also might take walks or have a mother and daughter day. If you have other kids, like I do, try rotating time with each one and spending time with all together. Give teens room to breathe. This may seem to contradict the idea of spending time together. But in order to be happy and balanced, your teen needs both. Let your teen be independent if he's feeling especially moody. The teenage years can come with pent up frustration for many reasons. Friends, hormones, and just life in general could be stressing your teen out. Let him be alone to think before rushing to ask questions. Sometimes too much prodding can cause even more pressure, especially if your teen is facing a difficult issue or decision. Just listen. If you want your teen to be able to chill the attitude and open up to you, be quiet. I know firsthand that it can be hard not to ask what's going on or analyze the situation. But sometimes us parents just need to keep our lips sealed. The silence can help calm your teen down and make her feel comfortable enough to open up. When she starts talking, don't offer advice right away. Just listen until she is done. Her attitude may be in part due to the fact that she feels no one is listening to her. If you are always offering advice, you could be adding to those insecure thoughts. Laugh often. I know, I know. This is so simple. It sounds like it is easier said than done. But trust me, when there is constant laughter, your teen will have an easier time ditching the attitude to the curb. I'm not saying don't take problems seriously. But learn to laugh at mistakes and learn from them. Tell jokes all the time, even if they are corny. Laughter helps relieve stress in both teens and adults and can be very helpful in ditching an attitude problem. It's pretty hard not to laugh when everyone else in the room is doing it. Try it. You'll see what I mean. Keep in mind that there can be serious reasons behind your teen's attitude. So, don't ignore those signs, even if they are faint. Also, be sure your teen has regular visits to the appropriate health professionals. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network  Image © WhitA; Flickr.com Part of being a child is playing outdoors. Outdoor play can offer a child many benefits, such as lessons in nature and physical movement skills. No matter how careful the child and parent are to follow safety rules, sometimes children get hurt. Below, you will find some typical minor injuries a child can receive while playing, as well as advice and safety tips for each. If the child's injury is an emergency, call 911 right away.
Minor Cuts and Scrapes For minor cuts and scrapes, rinse the wound with clear water to avoid irritation and rinse with an antiseptic. Next, apply antibiotic ointment to prevent infection. For the most minor wounds, leave the area uncovered, as a bandage can slow the healing process. For deeper minor wounds, apply a bandage of appropriate size to help prevent infection from getting in. Change the bandage and re-apply the antibiotic ointment twice daily, until the wound has closed. Large, deep, or puncture wounds should receive medical attention via 911 right away. Sunburn The best way to prevent sunburn is to apply sunscreen on your child every time he plays outside. Sunscreen that contains an SPF of 30 or higher (the higher, the better) and is PABA free is the best for use in children. If your child has a sunburn, gently place cool cloths on the affected area for a few minutes. Afterward, apply aloe gel. Do not apply lotions or water warmer than room temperature, as this will sting the sunburned area. Insect Bites and Stings To prevent an insect bite or sting from happening, use insect repellent with DEET. If your child has received an insect bite or sting, first remove the stinger (if applicable) by scraping it off with a credit card or similar surface. Wash the area thoroughly. Do not squeeze the affected area. This can spread any venom. Apply an antiseptic to remove germs and ease the itch. If a bite is swollen, apply an antihistamine cream. If a bite or sting becomes hard or infected, contact your child's pediatrician. Allergic Reactions During outdoor play, it is possible for your child to experience allergic reactions to insect bites or stings, plants, and more. Signs of an allergic reaction include abnormal swelling, rash/hives, having trouble breathing, fever, and nausea, and even anaphylaxis. If your child has a known allergy, it is important to keep an emergency safety kit containing epinephrine shots, in case of anaphylaxis. If this occurs, treat your child accordingly and get emergency help right away by calling 911. Bruises and Bumps Outdoor play for children often includes dodging balls, running fast, and even just playing rough. Bruises and bumps happen frequently in many children just from playing. If your child gets a bruise or bump, first check the area to be sure that the injury isn't more serious. Place a cold compress, such as an ice pack or frozen vegetables on the affected area to reduce swelling. Contact a doctor if needed. Take proper concussion cautions if the injury is on the head. This is not an all-inclusive list. However, it should help inform you regarding typical outdoor injuries and risks for children. Remember that your child’s licensed physician is the best source of information. Discuss these and other risks with that physician to compare and be sure you are doing the right thing. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network  Image © Skakerman; Flickr.com Keeping kids exercising is often as simple as finding a fun, energetic sport or activity that they enjoy. One sport you don't see enough of anymore (besides on school playgrounds) is tetherball. Remember that game from the schoolyard where you would take turns trying to punch a ball on a string around a pole? That's tetherball.
To enjoy tetherball, you don't have to hunt down the nearest gym or school who happens to have access to it. All you need to do is either buy your own or make your own. It's not as hard as it may sound. The local sporting goods store will generally have an easy-to-set-up, low-cost, low-grade tetherball game, even including the pole. The instructions will come with the set. If you want a more sturdy tetherball game, try making your own. It's very simple and depending on the ages and abilities of the kids, they may even be able to help. All you need is a small bag of concrete mix, an old tire with the rim still inside, a cheap tarp, a metal pole, a bolt with a hook, a drill with a metal bit, and a pre-strung tetherball. First, drill a hole the correct size for the bolt into the top of the pole. Next, screw in the bolt. Mix the concrete thickly. Set the tire on top of the tarp.Now place the mixed concrete inside of the tire. Fill the entire hole. Place the pole in the center of the mixed concrete inside the tire. Smooth out the concrete. The pole should stand straight up and if the concrete is thick enough, it will not move. Allow it to dry completely. There's your tetherball pole. Now, just hang your tetherball and you and the kids can start to play. Tetherball rules are very simple. Player one is the server. To serve the ball, much like volleyball, set it atop the non-dominant hand and punch it with the other. The goal is to get the tetherball to wrap completely around the pole without interruption from the other player. Each player must take turns hitting the ball in opposite directions until one player wraps it around the pole. Whomever wraps it around the pole first is the winner. Players may not grab the string or hold onto the ball. Either is an automatic "out". If this occurs, the next player will come in and a new game will begin. Players may only punch or hit the ball. As you can see, a simple project can provide the kids with a lasting way to be active. Sports like this are great because a child can play solo or with a friend or family member. This helps them reach sports and fitness goals more often. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network  Image © KWDesigns; Flickr.com Physical fitness is important for children. It helps them gain strength in the bones and muscles, which is good for growth. It also can help fight obesity by keeping the body in shape. Kids already get some exercise in gym and PE classes at school, but they still need more. Parents should be actively involved in promoting physical activities in their kids, creating some type of opportunity for exercise every day. One place to start raising awareness is at school.
Public schools are getting more active in promoting physical fitness in children, which is great news. One thing some schools do to get kids moving is to add a rock climbing wall to the school gym or playground. They are accessible during recess, as well as on certain days during gym or physical education class. The kids seem to really enjoy these rock walls and it's a great total body workout. School playgrounds are actually a good source of exercise as well, offering a range of physical movements. Adding other things to the outdoor play area, such as a tether ball pole, basketball court, and volleyball net add even more fun and exercise. Some schools even allow the children to use bicycles, inline skates, and skateboards in a designated area. With this type of play growing in popularity, some schools have added bicycle and skateboard ramps. Many museums also have an interactive physical health section where children can visit to learn more. Schools can take a day trip and teachers can center a lesson around this. Some of the museums even offer lesson plans or guided tours of these interactive exhibits. Another thing many schools do is hold a free play time at least once a week during gym or physical education time. They will have assorted things available to play with, like gym scooters, fitness balls, a rock wall, rope climbing, and many other items. These create physical activities that are disguised as fun to the kids. Making gym and physical fitness fun is a great idea. Active kids are healthy kids, so also be sure the kids get their dose every day, in addition to what is offered at school. Dancing is a fun and versatile family activity that is also great exercise. Some schools are incorporating dance into the curriculum of the core subjects for added physical and mental benefits. Many kids also like to play those classic games you used to play as a kid. Children don't seem to play these as much anymore. These include games like "Red Rover", "Freeze Tag", and "Dodge Ball". These games are great at school because of the larger numbers of kids to work with. Bike riding is another regular activity that’s fun and beneficial to the physical health of the children. It's great to do any time of the day, but riding bikes to and from school can help kids stay fit in an enjoyable manner. While some schools often do a great job at incorporating activities like these, others don’t. Parents can do their part by speaking up. Get together with other parents to discuss what’s happening in your child’s school. As a united front, a group of parents can make all the difference in getting schools to add more sports and fitness options. I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Image © Lyn Lomasi; All Rights Reserved There are a variety of fun events children can attend during summer vacation, many of them free. A great number of parents are unaware these events are free or that they even exist. This is because not all of them are are always listed on events calendars. They also aren't always what parents may think about when considering free summer events and activities for kids.
Free Summer Concerts Many cities have free concerts, especially during the summer. Parks, town squares, and even libraries will often be the location for these. To check listings for free concerts in your city, visit your city's official web site, check the local newspaper, and check at the library for fliers or schedules. Oftentimes free concerts are geared toward children and the ones that aren't may even be G-rated and enjoyable for all ages. These will keep kids busy singing and dancing along. Since most will be in parks or children's libraries, kids can feel free to just be kids. Free Summer Workshops Many retail stores and museums hold free or low-cost workshops, even for kids. Topics may include DIY home improvement projects, history, nature conservation, safety tips, art, crafts, and many more. Workshops are generally interactive, keeping the kids busy making or learning about something. To find out about these workshops call and check the websites of local museums, home improvement stores, nature conservancies, zoos, craft stores, and anywhere else you can think of. These aren't always filed under events listings. Zoo Free Days Zoo free days are an exciting event for kids and their parents. The kids receive entertainment and the parents will love the small impact on the summer fun budget. To save even more, bring along your own sack lunch. At the zoo, kids can learn about animals and have fun watching them. An interesting time to go is feeding time for certain animals, so keep that in mind. This is when certain animals and their trainers will be busy putting on shows for the audience. Also, check to see if there are any animals in the nursery. If so, there may be some accompanying educational info for the kids. Museum Free Days Like free zoo days in the summer, parents and kids alike will find this worthwhile. Keep in mind that even though admission and permanent museum exhibits will be free, there may be charges for special exhibits or shows. Some parents may choose to avoid those on free day, yet others will just be glad to save the general admission. If you kids especially enjoy the museum or it's beneficial to various studies, you might consider purchasing a yearly membership. These generally pay for themselves after just a few visits. Summer Parades Most cities have some type of parade, even small ones. If no main parades are scheduled for the summer, check with museums, art galleries, theaters, and other organizations. Sometimes they hold small parades that the kids would enjoy. Most kids are amazed at watching horses, dancers, floats, and anything else parade past them down the street. Factory, Warehouse, Orchard, and Farm Tours Just about every area seems to have at least one factory or manufacturing plant of some kind. Children love the excitement of learning how things work behind the scenes. Try food factories, farms, orchards, product assembly warehouses, and more. Most manufacturing companies have some type of tour and many are free. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Image by foilman via Flickr.com Johnny is sitting in a big pile of assorted toys and books for the fifth time today. As soon as you pick up everything, it seems it's right back on the floor. You may often find yourself asking "Why is my child's room so messy?" Does a messy room make you a failure? No. Does it mean your child is a misfit? No. All it means is you have something to work on together. As a mother to four who has dealt with this a time or two - or a thousand - what I have learned along the way might help you too.
Is your child's room messy, due to lack of organization? If there are several toys and items that don;t really have an exact spot or are mixed up with others, your child may simply be confused. A lack of structure in the way the room is set up can lead to a child feeling discouraged and indecisive during clean-up time. Set up an organizational system that your child can easily follow. Labeling containers with pictures and words for each type of item is helpful for younger children. Older children should be allowed to set up their organization system themselves. Can your children tell where things go in their room? This falls in line with the organizational system, as well as brings up another factor. If there is a designated clean-up spot for everything, it makes it less daunting. You know how you feel when you see that big pile of stuff. Imagine that same feeling from a child's perspective. Not having an organizational plan can stress kids further because not only do they have to pick up everything, they have to find a spot for it too. Has your child been taught about value? Perhaps your kids throw things on the floor because they don't understand about value. If you buy them toys, books, clothing, and other items too often, those things no longer have value. It just becomes the normal thing to do. Thus, the items are just something that can be tossed around and replaced regularly. Set limits on the number of items you purchase, how much you spend, and more. Be sure the kids know these limits and are allowed to observe not only the spending part, but the earning process it takes to get the amount needed for each of their items. Is your cleaning routine too drab? Perhaps your kids don't want to clean because it's too much of a chore. Just because it has to be done doesn't mean it can't be fun. Put on some music and dance the room clean. Give the kids each a reusable grocery bag or a kid's shopping cart, have them fill it up with items, and race to put them away. A creative and fun game will get their attention faster than screaming in frustration. It will also save you and the kids from further stress. Is there more stuff than space to put it in? If your child has more toys than places to keep them, the problem is not your child being messy. The problem is too much stuff. What do you expect him to do with it if there's nowhere to put it? This calls for a sort and donate situation. You and your child can discuss kids that don't have enough toys to play with and how there is too much in his room. Together, go through the items and decide how much to keep, based on room to store it. by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Image © Lyn Lomasi; All Rights Reserved Are your tweens bored during family outings and activities? Perhaps you just need to switch things up and try something new. You don't necessarily have to spend too much money on fancy gadgets. In fact, that could distract them from family fun. To keep the tweens from being bored, our family is always trying something new. Here are some of the all-time favorites that have passed the 'tween fun' test.
Turn walking into an adventure. Asking your tweens to go on a walk may bore them. But only if you make it seem like a chore. Instead, turn it into an exploration. Take a walk on neighborhood trails and bring along specimen containers and other investigative tools. A note pad is great for drawing observations and writing down interesting discoveries and theories. A magnifying glass can help when inspecting insects, leaves, animal tracks, and more. Binoculars are useful when watching birds and other creatures at a distance. Flash back to when all we used was imagination. Today's tweens are often so into technology that some rarely use their imaginations. Think back to those fun little games you played, such as Telephone, telling ghost stories, Truth or Dare, and more. Remember all the fun you had playing these games with friends and family? Play them with your family and if your tween has her won ideas or variations, go along with them. These games are not just a good source of entertainment. They can also help bring families closer through the power of laughter. The best part is that they can usually be adapted to fit all age ranges. This is an important aspect in a large family like ours. Scavenger hunts are cheap, easy, and entertaining. It doesn't take strenuous planning to set up a scavenger hunt. But the resulting fun and memories are priceless. Create a list of items for each child to find in the backyard or area park. These should be easy things to find in nature, such as a dried leaf, a fallen twig, or a rock. Your tweens (and even the younger kids) can be given a reusable grocery bag for collection purposes. It's up to you whether to make it a competition and award prizes or just let the kids go to it finding the items. If you want to mix things up even more, instead of the list, give the kids a treasure map or one clue at a time as each item is found. Tweens and music go hand-in-hand. Turn up the music and have a family dance session. But don;t play just your music. Let the tweens choose music as well. I know, I know, some of their choices will be worse than nails on a chalkboard - at least to your ears. Save the complaints about it for another time and just enjoy the time with your kids. Understanding the music your tweens listen to can help you understand them more as well. The kids might even be able to teach you a new dance. You know they will feel you need the lessons. Wacky sports can be a big hit with tweens. Have you ever tried blending sports together? For instance, try playing soccer or basketball while skating. Invent your own sports by mixing up and combining two or more sports with each other. Safety first, of course, but other than that, be creative. Water Balloon Golf is one of the more interesting combination games my kids and I enjoy playing together. This one is best played on warmer days. If it's a good day for swimming, then it's a good day for this golf variation. by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Image by insatiablemunch via Flickr.com "Ugh, you have got to be kidding! Please don't make me eat that!" Teenagers can be some of the pickiest eaters on the planet. But are they really being picky or are they just exercising their newly discovered freedoms? For some, it might actually be both. So, how do you get teens to eat healthier foods? As a mom with a full house, it's tricky finding things everyone will agree on, including toddlers and teens - two of the pickiest age groups, in my experience. If you want to increase healthy eating habits in teens, you'll likely need to make some adjustments.
Pack interesting, yet healthy lunches. If you pack your teen a lunch that contains her least favorite veggies, expect her to toss or trade it. This may mean she ends up with vending machine goodies or fast food. Neither is likely to be a healthy choice. Instead, always pack her favorite fruits, grains, veggies, and more. Use tasty, but healthy sides and dips to accent the main course. Opt for fat free ranch dressing if your teen likes to dip his veggies. Use fat free yogurt as a fruit dip. Spreadable fruit is a healthier option than jellies and jams. Let her choose from a list of suggested items. This helps ensure she likes what she is eating. Remember to have her pick options from each food group to keep the meals balanced. Always have healthy snacks in plain view. Leave sliced fruits, veggies, and healthy dips out on the counter near snack times. Teens are likely to grab and much if something is right there. Unsalted mixed nuts, carob chips, low-fat cheese and whole grain crackers, and dried fruits are also easy and tempting. If you leave out snacks like this, your teens may not even think about the other stuff that's unhealthy. They'll already be full from the healthy options. After a while, they can become so accustomed to this, that similar healthy eating options may be second nature. Don't have unhealthy options around. If access to unhealthy choices is unavailable, teens are more likely to choose healthy eating habits. In this case, they may be doing it because they have no other choice. But it also can create a subconscious pattern that stays with them. If they aren't accustomed to unhealthy foods, they are less likely to crave them. You can't control what is available at their friend's houses. But creating a habit consisting of mainly nutritious options assists in developing healthy eating habits for life. Talk about your own struggles. You may think your teens aren't listening and they may roll their eyes at you when you tell them certain things. But they definitely hear you and they listen more than you think they do. They just may not want you to know that information. Tell your teens about the mistakes you made as a teen regarding healthy eating habits. Explain how you solved those issues and the differences that occurred because of the lifestyle changes. Watch movies surrounding nutrition issues. Sometimes teens may need to see the damages unhealthy eating can cause. Scientific videos, as well as dramatic life stories are helpful in this area. Both the technical and lifestyle aspect are needed to illustrate the point fully. When your teen sees the impact that healthy eating habits can make on his life as a whole, it will become easier to make positive choices. Teaching your teen about healthy eating habits is not always about lecturing. It's ore about proactive consistency and allowing the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them. Talk to your teen's doctor about proper dietary habits. by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Image by marcia shields photography via Flickr.com Has your tween been shouting out cheers or watching a large number of cheerleading shows or movies? He or she may be interested in becoming a cheerleader. Perhaps it's even been expressed to you. Is cheerleading appropriate for tweens? Should you let your tween join a cheerleader squad? On top of deciding whether your tween wants to cheer on sports teams, participate in cheerleading competitions, or do non-competitive cheering, there are many other factors to consider.
Why does your tween want to be a cheerleader? It's important to allow kids the freedom to express their interests. But before giving an affirmative answer, be sure your tween's head is in the right place. Does your son or daughter want to be on the squad for the activity or athleticism or is it seen as a way to attract the opposite sex? It's natural for kids to develop interest for the opposite sex at this age. However, that should not be the only reason your tween is interested in becoming a cheerleader. Talk to your tween and figure out all of the reasons he or she is interested in becoming a cheerleader. Be sure it is really what they want to do before they make the commitment. Can you afford or raise the associated costs? This kind of activity can really put a dent in the wallet. There are tryouts, uniforms, classes, road trips, and more that all require fees. Before getting your tween involved, be sure that you can pay the associated fees. If you cannot pay them, there may be fund raising or sponsorship opportunities. Either way, be sure these costs will be covered. Otherwise, you will potentially be setting your tween up for disappoint later when something comes along that you cannot pay for. Cheerleading is a big commitment. Does your tween know what's involved in being a member of the squad? Some responsibilities will vary, depending on the type of cheerleading squad your tween wants to join. However, they will all involve committing to certain practice dates and doing extra practice at home. Some may involve traveling and taking extra classes for cheer routines, dance, and gymnastics. There is more to being a cheerleader than just rooting on a team. It is a very athletic activity that can get very involved. Is your tween ready for this type of commitment? Does your tween have the talent or the dedication to learn? Existing talent is a real plus when it comes to cheerleading. However, your tween can also take classes and practice to learn and grow in the sport. Make sure he or she is ready to do what it takes to succeed. If your tween does not want to compete but enjoys the activity, many locales have non-competitive cheerleader squads as well. Your tween will still need to be committed to the team. However, there won;t be as much pressure to outperform another team. Can you provide the transportation? This may seem a small factor in the grand scheme of things. However, depending on the type of cheerleading, practices, games, and events can be in various places. Are you willing to get your tween to these meetings and events, even when they are far away? If you know that you cannot do this, for whatever reason, you will need to find alternate transportation or work with your tween to find an alternative activity. Most parents want to give their child freedom to explore the things they are interested in. But in addition to bringing a smile to their faces, we also have to think practically as well. When deciding whether your tween should join a cheerleader squad, weigh all of the factors together before making the commitment. *Always consult a licensed physician before enrolling your child in any athletic activity. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Image by twid via Flickr.com It's hot outside, but the kids are bored with nothing to do. As a mom and former nanny, I've had to be creative in similar situations numerous times. Playing some sports can quickly make the kids even more hot and tired - and cranky too. Not fun at all! One way to solve that problem is to add a variation to the sports that allows for some cooling off. Water Balloon Golf can keep the kids busy for a while without the summer sun ruining the fun. This is basically a more active version of golf.
Materials children's golf clubs, tees, and balls (enough for all kids who will play) garden spade small plastic cups water balloons Game Setup Before game play, someone will need to set up the golf course. This can easily be done in the backyard or at a local park. Map out the course and dig a hole the size of the cup bottoms for each golf-ball hole. Stick the cups into the holes. If this is done at a local park, you will need plastic holes for the golf balls, instead of the garden spade and cups. This is just because you don't want to be digging up property that isn't yours. How to Play Water Balloon Golf This game of golf is played almost the same as a regular game of golf or miniature golf, depending on preference and skill level of the kids. Each kid needs to have a golf club and ball. It helps if each child has a particular color ball and all colors are different. This way there are no disagreements over which belongs to whom. You also may wish to take a permanent marker or strip of tape and use it to mark each golf club. If possible, match the tees to the balls as well. This helps avoid some of the arguments. Once the kids are all setup, the first player can start by hitting his or her ball to make an attempt at the first hole. Anytime the player does not get a hole-in-one, someone will throw a water balloon at that player. The player can choose to run to try to avoid it, but if it's extra hot outside, they may readily welcome it. Only one balloon is allowed for each try by a player. If the water balloon lands on the ground without breaking, the player can pick it up and throw it at someone else. This can be repeated until the balloon breaks open. Also, if that player misses the hole-in-one, once the balloon throwing is finished, it is the next player's turn. Game play continues until each player has completed the golf course. Be sure to have enough water balloons to allow for several missed tries for each player. If there are extra water balloons after the kids play Water balloon Golf, the kids can continue throwing water balloons at each each other. *Remember to tell kids not to throw too hard and also not to throw at faces or deliberately try to hurt each other. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network Things to Leave at Home on a Long Car Rideby Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Image by mil8 via Flickr.com When taking a road trip or long car ride with kids, keeping them busy is key. Having grown up in a sizable family and now being blessed with a large family of my own, I've learned a great deal. There are some things you just don't take in a vehicle when you have kids with you. I recently recommended the Best Road Trip Toys for Kids. However, some other things can be tempting to bring that are actually a bad idea. Here's what not to bring on a road trip with kids.
Puzzles a Big No-No on Road Trips Puzzles can keep kids bus for hours on end and are highly educational. So why are they a bad idea for road trips? Way too many pieces to keep track of - not to mention the issue of where it would be assembled. Sure there are lap trays. But what happens when the vehicle is moving too much or the kids are goofing off? You got it - lots of tine pieces scattered all over the van or car and unhappy kids and parents. Save the puzzles for home or for rainy days at the hotel. Portable Video Games Fail Yes, I know that some moms recommend portable video games. Not this mom. If a child's head is in the video games, scenery can be missed. Also, entertainment that involves family interaction is generally the point of a family road trip. Portable video games can be a distraction to that. They also may cause arguments if there's only one device and multiple kids. It's best to leave the video games at home and enjoy each other instead. Blocks and Other Assembly Toys Spell Trouble Blocks and other assembly toys with multiple pieces can be a big no-no in the car with kids. Think scattered pieces on the floor and possibly kids getting hurt by tripping on them when getting in or out. Especially bad are pieces that roll, such as marbles. These may get stuck under the brake or gas pedal at the wrong moment. This scenario won't be good for anyone. Leave toys with small pieces at home and try an Etch-a-Sketch instead. Noisy Toys Cause Commotion Noisy toys can be great in some instances - wait, did I just say I liked noisy toys? Scratch that. Anyhow, if toys are creating a ruckus, it can be hard for the driver to concentrate. These are definitely on the list of what not to bring on road trips with kids for that reason and more. If the kids are already noisy, who wants to add more noise? Instead, choose more peaceful toys and activities. This will be more relaxing for the kids and the driver. by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Image by alberth2 via Flickr.com Pile the kids, the the suitcases, and the ice chest in the car and you're ready to go on your vacation or road trip, right? Wrong. Without something to keep them busy, those kids are going to be antsy in a hurry. So what are the ten favorite busy toys on our big family's road trip and vacation list? By order choice of the kids, here they are, saving the best busy toy for last.
Busy Road Trip Toy #10: Video Games While video games are not my favorite thing for kids to play with, they can sometimes be beneficial to keep kids busy and entertained when used in moderation. They are great for travel, only if there are headphones and a game system for each kid. Otherwise, be prepared for noise and arguments. Video games suitable for traveling can come as a low-cost hand-held with one or two games pre-installed or as a portable game system, such as the Nintendo DS or Sony PSP. These game systems will have games that come on cartridges that can be inserted into a slot for play. Busy Road Trip Toy #9: One-Piece Puzzles One-piece puzzles, such as the Rubik's Cube or the Tangle Jr. are great for entertaining kids on long car rides. These take time to figure out and it can be exciting for the kids as they complete each step. In addition to Rubik's Cube and Tangle puzzles, pocket-size maze and pinball games also are great one-piece puzzles. Busy Road Trip Toy #8: Etch-a Sketch The Etch-a-Sketch is a classic busy toy for kids and is still one of the best busy toys for long road trips. Etch-a-Sketch is a good example of a toy that is not only entertaining, but also can relieve stress and enhances creativity in the brain. Busy Road Trip Toy #7: Trivia Cards Most kids enjoy playing trivia games, such as "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" or "Brainquest". Many people with kids have at least one trivia game lying around. To make a trivia game more adaptable to a road trip, simply use only the cards that come with the game or purchase the travel addition, if applicable. Leave everything but the cards at home. To play trivia in a car, just ask the questions and whoever shouts the answer first gets the point. If you choose to keep score, a notebook can be used. My kids love trivia and request it often, whether at home or in the car. Busy Road Trip Toy #6: Pencil & Word Puzzles Crossword puzzles, tic-tac-toe, word searches, Sudoku, and other pencil puzzles are great for road trips. Not only are they fun for the kids, but they can also be educational. Pencil puzzles are a sure bet in our household when it's time to choose busy toys for family road trips. Busy Road Trip Toy #5: Mad Libs Mad Libs are technically a pencil puzzle, but since they are so fun, our family would give them their own category. You can either purchase a Mad Libs book or take along a notebook and make your own. Either way, this is a great way for a family to get in some laughs together. Some of the stories can really turn out hilarious. We like to keep the best ones for reading at a later date when someone needs a good laugh. Busy Road Trip Toy #4: Journal Not only are journals a great way to keep kids busy, but they can be dual-purpose by providing a source for the family to look back on for memories. Plus, it gives parents that fun, but sneaky way way of fitting in that writing practice kids should have every day. Busy Road Trip Toy #3: Books Reading should be a huge part of a child's life. It's needed for so many daily and life activities and responsibilities. A road trip is a great time to fit in some extra reading. Letting the kids pick their own books can help ensure that they will actually read them. Busy Road Trip Toy #2: Coloring Books & Crayons Coloring books and crayons are always a big hit for road trips with kids. Most kids enjoy coloring and it's a fun, yet calming activity that will keep them busy for a while. To throw in some education with it, just choose coloring books accordingly, such as a shapes and colors one for preschoolers or or a world geography one for teens. Yes, many teens do still color. And who are you trying to fool anyway? Many adults do also. Busy Road Trip Toy #1: Mom By kids choice, the best road trip toy of all is mom. No kidding. Yup, that's right. The best toy is free. Depending on your family, a dad or a big sister could hold this position instead. This is the person with all the jokes, songs, silly stories, scary stories, and creative ideas. No packing is needed for this busy toy. Feel free to substitute as necessary. RELATED: What Not to Bring on a Road Trip With Kids *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network *One or more products or companies may be mentioned in this post. The author may benefit from affiliate sales, if applicable sales are made. However, the author did not receive any direct compensation or monetary benefit from mentioning these products. by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff 
Image by takkle K via Flickr.com
It's common for some parents to allow their children to walk to school alone or with friends. However, the world is evolving. Things are not how we were as kids. Parents need to be more proactive and alert. Part of that includes walking them to and from school - or at the very least having another adult do the job. This is especially true for those below high school age. We can't shelter our kids, but we can't be irresponsible with them either. My children are currently homeschooled. However, when they did attend public school, walking to school without adults was not an option.
1. Your child may not be as responsible as you think. Just because your child behaves like the perfect little angel in your presence doesn't mean she can do no wrong. It's only natural for children to be curious about things. Your child might wonder if it's a good idea to ditch school, stop at a corner store, or worse - cause fights with other kids. If you walk to school with your child, this can deter such things from happening, at least during the time period where it's least likely that other adults are around. 2. Kids walking without parents are more vulnerable to pedophiles and other criminals. Pedophiles, kidnappers, and other criminals look for children that are walking alone - especially children without adults around. They are a much easier target than kids with supervision. To keep your kids safer, consider walking or biking to and from school with them. If you are not available during those times, choose another responsible and trusted adult to do so. 3. If your child's friend is mischievous, your kid gets in trouble too. So, your kid is uber-responsible? So what. He or she cannot stop the actions of friends in many instances. If your kid's friend gets into some trouble, your kid also may be associated with the misdeed. It's much safer to be sure adults are around so that these things don't happen. 4. Walking to and from school is great for family time and saves on gas. You and your child can talk about family issues, school, hopes and dreams, or anything else. This is a good opportunity to get closer and learn more about each other. Plus, it's great exercise and saves on gas. Good for the Earth, your wallet, and the family's mental health. 5. Walking with your child helps you get to know their school environment better. By being proactive and accompanying your child on the school walk, you get to know more about their friends and learning environment. Observe who they talk to, invite friends over, and watch what the teachers and administrators are doing before and after school. This helps you stay in touch with their school life without being too intrusive. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Writing and music can both be wonderful outlets for talent as well as feelings. When combined together, it can greatly help kids relieve stress. Plus, it's a fun way to sneak in some writing practice and also to let them use their creativity, imagination, and thinking skills. This is a method I've had success using with my own kids and I hope it helps others as well.
Combating Sibling Rivalry When siblings are arguing, I find that having them write songs is a great way for them to deal with those feelings. Holding feelings in is no good. But neither is acting them out on each other. Writing a song about it helps the kids relieve tension by getting the feelings out in a more constructive manner. When the kids reread the or sing the lyrics, they may laugh and find what they wrote is not really that bad after all. Expressing Hurt Feelings When a child gets their feelings hurt, sometimes they need someone to talk to. Other times they just want to be alone. That alone time may be the perfect opportunity for a kid to express hurt feelings through song. Sometimes just the act of writing it all down can help kids relieve stress. Performing it as a blues song can be fun for the child as well as the audience. The audience could be a parent or the whole family. It depends on what the child feels they want to do. Expressing Other Stressful Feelings Besides sibling rivalry and hurt feelings, there are a host of other things that may lead to stress in kids. These could be things like being bullied, keeping up with grades in school, weight issues, and many more. Writing feelings in song form gives kids a positive outlet for expression. Also, if the songs are then performed afterward, more stress relief can come in the singing and dancing. Also, in the dancing can be some great exercise, which is another fun and easy way to help reduce stress in kids. Expressing Happiness Yes, writing songs can be wonderful when a child is stressed, but also don't forget to do so when your child is happy as well. Songwriting is a fun activity that the family can do together. It can also lead to laughter, which in my experience can reduce stress significantly. Kids can each write their own songs or everyone can write songs together. Even try a combination. Performing the songs afterward can be fun for the kids and parents both. *Note that the author is not a licensed medical professional and the above is for informational purposes only. If your child is stressed, as with any health issues, contact his or her pediatrician. **I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff  Image (c) Lyn Lomasi; All Rights Reserved As kids grow older, especially into the tween and teen years, it's natural for them to become more independent. But don't let that independence take away the closeness in your family. This doesn't mean you should embarrass them by being too attached in front of their friends. In fact, by giving your tweens space, you can remain close to them and even strengthen bonds. It may seem strange to think of space and bonding as related. But as a current parent of tweens, it has been a very effective method.
Giving tweens space shows them you understand. How many times have we all heard kids state their parents don't understand them? By giving them space, you can show them you do indeed understand their needs. Be sure to let them know you understand that need and even talk to them about when you were their age. Sometimes they are going through emotional and physical changes and just want to be alone. Other times, they may want to enjoy their friends, a TV show, or a good book without you in the room. As long as they aren't doing anything wrong, give them some space to enjoy life. When tweens have space, they may be more willing to come to you for help. Extra freedom and space can help tweens sort out things in their minds. Remember that they have thoughts, issues, and feelings too. Being a kid does not exempt them from life. Now, more than ever, tweens face a wide variety of confusing and conflicting situations every day. Knowing you trust them enough to give them freedom can help build trust so they'll be willing to come to you when they should. Space can equate to stronger bonding. You may find that having separate time away from your tween causes you both to want some quality time as well. Sometimes being apart from those you care about shows people how much they really need each other. Continue to give your tween space. But you can also take special time together that''s convenient for both of you to keep that parent-child bond going strong. Choose activities you both enjoy to make the most of your time together. Respecting your tween's privacy shows her you care. Along with space comes privacy. If your tween wants to be alone, let her do that. She may just be doing homework. She may also want to talk to her friends on the phone, read a book, or even just daydream. No matter what she wants to do, as long it isn't harmful to herself or others, give her room to make her own decisions. Don't walk into her room checking up every two minutes and don't spy on her conversations or read her diary. When she confides in you, don't tell others - especially her friends - about the conversations. This respect for privacy shows her you care and keeps that parent-child bond going strong. As your child grows, the relationship will change but the love stays. Tweens need space in order to learn and grow. Just because he doesn't want to spend every waking moment with you, it doesn't change his love for you. It's healthy for tweens to have independence with many choices and aspects of life. It's part of preparation for life when they finally get out on their own later in life. Forcing your tween to be with you every moment and share every single secret and moment with you can cause tension and rebellion. But giving them the space they need can help keep a strong and healthy relationship. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network  Image (C) Lyn Lomasi; All Rights Reserved Is your tween constantly trying to boss around younger siblings, even at times questioning your own methods? Kids between the ages of 8 and 12 are going through huge transitions and this is a very possible scenario in households with more than one child. When my tween has moments like this, I stop and think what could be the root of the problem. One important point to remember is that most kids will test parents in this way at least once. It doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong. Like any other issue that arises, it gives you a chance to reevaluate things and change them as necessary.
Your tween wants to be like you. It's possible that your tween is bossing the younger kids around because you've been a great example. She may look up to you and simply be mimicking your own behavior. This can be a sign that you have been a good example that she wants to follow. At this age, the parent should still be supervising, but the tween can be given some extra responsibilities. Allow your tween to facilitate activities and look out for the welfare of her brothers and sisters. But do not allow her to discipline them. Your tween has too much responsibility. Having extra responsibility can sometimes be a good thing, as it prepares tweens for babysitting in the future and just life in general. But it also can be a bad thing if your tween is overstepping your boundaries. It's perfectly fine to allow your tween some growing room. But don't let him take it so far that he believes his siblings have to listen to his every word. If you catch your tween trying to boss around brothers and sisters in matters where he shouldn't be, you need to act immediately to rectify it early. Your tween knows she is older. Trying to take charge can just be a natural instinct as a child grows older. It is particularly present in tweens with younger siblings. This is just the natural order of things. If the manner in which your tween outranks siblings is not significant, there is probably no need for concern. It can actually be good for kids to have an extra reminder for simple things. But if you see your tween take advantage, explain to her when it is and is not appropriate to correct siblings. She's practicing for the future. Your tween may have natural parental instincts and is acting them out on siblings. There is nothing wrong with this, so long as it isn't hurting anyone or overstepping boundaries. This is how kids learn to be good parents when they grow up. Use this as an opportunity to teach your tween about proper parenting techniques, within reason. Helping with dinner, reading to the younger kids, helping feed the baby, preventing fellow siblings from arguing, and similar activities are great ways for your tween to participate. Just be sure she knows that certain decisions are still up to you. Take a look at your own habits. Many times, it will just be a natural part of growing up. But sometimes tweens will act this way because of the behavior of the parents. If you let your tween take over one too many times, she will start acting like she's the parent. Instinct takes over and it can be hard to break this habit once it starts. Ideally, you can catch it before it gets out of hand. Otherwise, it will take some work to let your tween know what her true responsibilities are and are not. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network  Image (c) Lyn Lomasi; All Rights Reserved As a mother and former nanny, I've heard of too many instances in which permanently restricting toys from children was suggested. Either the parents felt the kids were making a mess of them, they were too old for toys, or that toys were unnecessary. While I agree that kids do not need every gadget and gizmo out there, they do need to own some toys. In fact, there are many reasons children need to play with toys and significant research to back up that fact.
History of Toys It's probably safe to say that no one knows for sure exactly when and where the first toy was invented. They've been around for ages, possibly since the beginning of the human race. No matter the culture or country, most kids can be found playing with some sort of toy. While we can't trace the history of toys altogether, it can be interesting to peek back in time and trace the history of specific toys. IdeaFinder.com has some fun listings to explore from various toys and time periods. Benefits of Toys According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), playing with toys is beneficial to a child's social, cognitive, physical, and emotional well-being. The same report makes the point that playing with toys is recognized by the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights as being one of the rights every child has. The Museum of Play considers play a critical part of learning and human development. Playing with toys increases academic success, as well as promotes success once children grow into adults. The Elements of Play can help define play for parents, educators, and scholars. Which Toys are Best? Which toys are best will actually depend on each individual child. When choosing the best toys for kids, think of the value of the toy itself. Consider your child's interest in it, how long it will last, what purpose it will serve, and also general safety. Blocks and puzzles can help with problem-solving and other cognitive development. Dolls and other role playing toys can help children with expression and imagination. Paints and other artistic toys help develop creativity. Sports toys, such as bicycles and balls can teach teamwork and coordination. There are a whole host of great toys with many benefits. If the toy passes all of your tests for value, then it's probably one of the best toys for your child. Remember to have a variety of different toys for the most interest and benefit. Why Toys Should not Be Taken Away Permanently Taking away toys permanently for the purpose of avoiding messes can hinder the process of teaching a child to clean. How can she learn to do this without anything to clean up? On the contrary, if a child is instead taught organizational skills and given an exact spot for each toy, and a system that must be followed, he or she will learn to put away the toys. Taking away toys because someone feels they are unnecessary is also not a good idea. As long as a child remains interested in playing with toys, he should be allowed to keep them. Even adults can benefit from playing with toys. Limiting or restricting a child from toys can also limit and restrict a child from key life lessons that can only be gained through play. *I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Staff Writer  Your teen student is headed to high school. This is the last portion of his schooling, where he prepares for independence. The choices made here will help influence his life path. Should teen students choose their own schedules? As their parents, should we instead be making this choice? While I would certainly like to decide what is likely to give my teens the best head start in life, I still think the final decision is up to them. Here's why.
What if my teen doesn't know what's best? This is a concern many parents have when realizing that their high school student is going to be choosing their own schedule. Talk to your teen about what his life goals and dreams are. Make sure he knows that his schedule should reflect those plans. Also, there should be guidance counselors assigned to each high school student in most schools. If you are homeschooling, you are likely to have some extra influence over the courses your teen student chooses. Either way, your teen needs to know his options and also that you trust him with the choice. Can a high school student get an easy schedule approved? Some teens may be sneaky and try to take all elective courses. But thankfully, this is not likely to fly with administration. There are certain courses required each semester. So, if your teen ticks off too many classes that are for fun, without selecting any core classes, she's going to have to fix that schedule to get it approved. It may work during senior year if the student has taken all the required courses. But hopefully, the advice given by parents and counselors will instead encourage choices related to the teen's career aspirations. What if a parent wants the teen to have certain classes? Being too demanding with the choices your teen faces could cause unnecessary pressure. Remember that this is a part of the preparation toward becoming an adult. As parents, our job is not to control everything our kids do. Instead, it is our job to give them the knowledge and confidence to succeed independently. They won't live with us forever. Just like we made difficult choices and learned from our mistakes, our kids need to do the same. Instead of demanding that your teen take specific classes, talk with him about his goals. Go over the class options together and talk about which ones are best suited to his needs. Let him make the ultimate decision himself. Will a student-created schedule be balanced? Parents often worry that if a high school student is choosing his own schedule, it might not be quite rounded. Fortunately, because most schools require a specific number of core classes and a set amount of electives, it will pretty much even out. The model ay not always be perfect. But most high school students will get to learn what's required, as well as something else directly related to their interests and career options. Will my teen effectively schedule toward career options? Talking to your teen can help her decide what's best. You may not think she's listening and she may be rolling her eyes, but she does hear you. Because you don't want to be controlling or demanding, there is not an absolute certainty that your teen will make the right choices. But by giving her the knowledge, you put her one step closer to the right choice. By combining your advice, as well as that of the advisor or counselor, your teen should at least be doing something in relation to life goals. It's scary raising a teenager, knowing that they have the freedom to make choices both good and bad. Providing your children with knowledge and resources is your job as a parent. But if you want them to be best prepared for life, they need to learn on their own how best to apply what you've given them. It's difficult to place such an important decision in the hands of a teenager. But they need to be given that power in order to have the ability to make even tougher decisions later in life. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Staff Writer  With all the varying theories, methods, and studies out there, parents are often confused as to what's right. What makes a good parent? How can you tell if you're doing things right? Is there even a right way? Before I became a parent, I had all these theories about what other parents were doing wrong. I may have been right some of the time. But the truth is, you never truly know what works and what doesn't until you're a parent yourself. So how do you tell if you're a good parent?
Act with love. Whether you are hugging your child for his latest accomplishment or reprimanding him for misbehavior, do it with love. You are more likely to see a better outcome from simply giving your child the love she needs. A good parent leaves any anger aside when doling out punishments. Allowing that anger to come into discipline leaves the door wide open for negative results you will regret later. Apologize for mistakes. We're all human and we all mess up sometimes. I can guarantee you there is not one parent out there who does every single thing perfect from the start. Being perfect is not a requirement for being a good mom or dad the last time I checked. Bending the rules slightly to fit each situation has been a lifesaver for me. Let your kids know you're sorry when you disappoint them. Fill them in on why you made that choice initially, how it was wrong, and what you intend to do the next time around. That earns more respect than trying to put on a "perfect" facade. Multiple methods can solve the same issue. Remember that just because "A" worked for Sally, doesn't mean "B" won't for you and "C" won't work for Sam. There are many different methods and techniques out there when it comes to parenting. Take a look at the methods used in your child's school or daycare as compared to yours. Also look at divorced parents who both have responsibilities toward the child. What happens in each location may not always be the same. But more than one parenting style may work on the same child. A specific method does not define whether or not you are a good parent. Do your best. When you truly give your all, that shows your kids you care. This will be more important than the car you drive, the schooling methods you choose, how many new outfits you buy, and so on. No matter which parenting style you operate under, put forth your best effort. You may not think your kids pay attention to that kind of thing, but they can sense what type of work you are putting into the family. Trust your instincts. When in doubt, always go with your gut. What does that inner voice say to you about your actions? If you feel something is wrong, avoid it at all costs. When you believe strongly in something, speak your mind and take action. Parental instinct is often more accurate than you think. Don't doubt yourself. Just sit back and listen to those gut feelings. What you feel in some of the moments can be a good indicator of your parental rating. Ignore naysayers. Since raising kids is near and dear to the hearts of many people, you are likely to be talked about no matter what you do. Being a good parent is not always about going with the popular choice. Unless the offending party has a valid point about your skills, ignore rants from other people about you not being a good parent. Every person knows the answer to this deep down in their hearts. What is your heart (and just plain common sense) telling you? Are you a good parent? *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Staff Writer  No one is a perfect parent, not even me, as a parenting expert. There is no such thing as perfection when it comes to raising kids. However, there are certain parenting mishaps we just shouldn't do or let our toddlers see. As a veteran parent and former nanny, I've had plenty of experience with toddlers who hit. It's not always something the parent is doing. But there are at least 5 parenting no-nos that could teach toddlers to use violence to get their way. Are you unintentionally participating in these parenting no-nos that may encourage hitting in toddlers?
Fighting in front of toddlers is a big parenting no-no. Arguing in front of your toddler can cause him stress, frustration, anger, and other issues. When this fighting is physical, it is even worse. Domestic violence is never appropriate. But it's especially inappropriate in front of a toddler. By hitting each other in front of watchful little eyes, you are encouraging hitting in your toddler. Counseling, separation, or even jail time for the offending party may be the best option for a couple that takes this route. Seek authorities and a professional's guidance right away if there is any physical violence in your home. Being physical in anger can encourage hitting, even if you are not directly hitting anyone. Slamming items down, throwing things, or hitting things when frustrated teaches your toddler to be physical when upset. While you may not be hitting a person, you are still acting out your anger in a negative physical manner. Parenting behaviors like this encourage hitting in toddlers. If you feel like you need to do something physical to express the anger, try jogging, yoga, playing basketball, or another form of exercise. Treating animals poorly can encourage hitting in toddlers. As the parent, you are supposed to be a positive example. Animals are living beings, just like you and I. Mistreating animals not only teaches your toddler to do the same. But it also teaches him to use violence when annoyed with something. Children, especially toddlers, follow the lead of their parents. They learn by observance. Even when you think they are not watching, they are. If you can't have a pet in your home without hitting and other negative treatment, please find a new, more loving, home for the animal. This will be good for your toddler, as well as the pet Laughing at violence is never good. Certain television programs and movies may make a mockery of violent acts. While older children may possibly understand the difference between movies and real life, a toddler may not. The same is true for video games that encourage hitting and other violence as a way to get ahead in the game. Then, of course there is reality. Never, ever laugh about violent acts in your toddler's presence. While it may not be intentional, by doing this, you are encouraging hitting and other forms of violence. In a toddler's eyes, laughing may mean that the violence is OK. Spanking can also encourage hitting. Yes, I know I am going to upset some people by saying this. I respect that not everyone has the same disciplinary methods. But in my experience, toddlers whose parents used spanking for discipline hit far more than those whose parents used other methods. If you think about it for a moment, it makes sense. Spanking is the act of hitting someone for an undesired behavior. In a toddler's eyes, this may send the message that when they don't like a behavior in another person, they should hit that person. There are more positive forms of discipline than spanking that still teach your toddler effectively. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network by Lyn Lomasi, Staff Writer  As a mother of 4 who also often has other people's kids in tow, I have had plenty of experience with kids in stores. Now it's time for me to share those tips with other parents. Children can be cranky, demanding, and downright stubborn in the grocery store. Some will throw a fit because they cannot get what they wanted. Others will simply wine and complain throughout the store. There are children who actually behave in the store, but it usually takes a little creativity and quick thinking on the parents' end. A stroller for anyone under 4 is great as well. I have compiled a list of things that ease the stress on the parent by keeping the children busy, entertained, and happy in the grocery store.
Create a Family List at Home and Stick To It Before ever stepping foot in a store, this should be done whenever possible. Create a grocery list together as a family, being sure to include something everyone requests. Make it known that the family is not going to be purchasing anything that is not on the list. Stick to that plan. Even if you see something you needed, wait until the next trip. That will show the children that everyone has to follow those rules. By including everyone in the process, you are also ensuring that you have at least one thing that everyone will be happy to purchase. Let each person put all the ingredients in their cart that go with their favorite meal and snacks. Never Give In No matter how much whining, screaming, complaining, arm flailing, or whatever other antics a child performs, do not give in, ever. Giving in just once gives the child the idea that you may do it again and it will ultimately make the fit worse next time. The more times you give in, the worse the fit will be each time you say no. But, if you stick to meaning what you say, the child will eventually realize that no matter what they do, you will not give in. Grocery Store ABC Kids love a great game. Not only will this be fun, but it will take their minds off of asking for things or running and playing in the store. The youngest starts first and the oldest (one of the adults) goes last. The first person looks around for something that starts with the letter "A". Once they have found it, they will say. "A is for apple (the underlined word is the name of the item the person found). Now the next person needs to find something that starts with "B". They will say "A is for apple. B is for bananas." Each person must name the items that came before their item and then name their item, as shown in the last example. The game continues until the players reach the letter Z or the grocery trip is over. Set Consequences Be sure the children know what consequences they will have for acting up in the store. This should be discussed prior to leaving the house. Be sure they know that if they are good, "x" will happen. If they misbehave, they will do "x" or that "x" will be taken away. Always follow through. Remind them of the consequences right before you step into the store. I Spy Grocery Game This game is played just like the traditional "I Spy" game, except the items will all be found inside the grocery store. The first player (youngest able to play) will find something and say something about it that will help the others identify it. For, instance, if it was a banana, he or she could say "I spy something that is yellow with a blue sticker". The remaining players will then call out guesses. The first player to guess correctly will spy something next. This game can last throughout the entire grocery trip. Let the Kids Help Most children love to help with miniature tasks, such as putting items into the cart. By letting the kids help with this task, you will not only speed up your shopping trip, but they will be so intent on that task, they just may forget to ask about things or play around. The key to this method is to keep them so busy, they do not have time to count how many items their siblings have placed into the cart in comparison to theirs or to even think about doing anything else. Discuss Last Night's Dreams Discussing dreams is a fun and easy way to pass time. If the child did not dream the night before, they can always discuss a dream from another night. Not only will this activity keep the children busy, but it will be a great bonding tool. The time will seem to go by much faster as well. What Would You Do With $1 Million This is an old favorite. Many people like to discuss this topic. Grocery shopping is the opportune time. This one can sometimes take so long, it may even continue on the car ride home. Each person should tell everyone what they would do with a million dollars. As with the other games, the youngest should go first and the oldest should go last. *I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network |
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Lyn Lomasi is founder and owner of the Brand Shamans network. She is your brand healing, soul healing, marketing & content superhero to the rescue! Running a network of websites, tackling deadlines single-handedly, and coaching fellow writers, brands, & entrepreneurs to be thought leaders is her top priority.
While rescuing civilians from boring content and brands, this awesomely crazy family conquers the world, managing Intent-sive Nature while going on Upstream Parenting adventures & lessons, sometimes in an RV. They strive to cuddle with lions and giraffes. Until then, they settle for rescue dogs and cats. By supporting us, you support a single parent, healer, and minority small business that donates to and/or stands for several causes, including homeless pets, homeless people, trans youth, equality, helping starving artists, and more! A portion of all proceeds from our all-inclusive store, Intent-sive Nature goes toward worthy causes. For guidance in the world of freelance writing or for advice on her specialty topics, Ask Lyn. Archives
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