There are times when I will look into the mirror and tell myself: Ami, you will somehow make these pretty words fit into a beautifully woven tapestry of literary genius. I say a lot of silly things to myself in the mirror in perhaps all-too vain attempts to build my self-esteem. Generally, they relatively fail at their primary purpose, make me feel silly, and cause me to make silly faces at myself. At least I can practice my comical expressions for use at a wide variety of social gatherings, so these little mirror exercises are not without their merits.
Somehow, one day, I will collect all of the lovely little bits and bobs, odds and ends, trifles and trinkets that I have produced over my many years of scrawling in awful penmanship across a wide variety of mediums into some useful compendium of awkwardly out-of-context phraseologies. When I manage to figure out what the hell it is that I just actually said, I will inform you, my pulchritudinous readers, of my findings!
I wrote something sort of like this on a personal blog back in 2011. I have no idea if it’s still published.