I know what I want to get done. But life tends to take you in directions you never thought of going. Many of those directions are scary at first. I’ve really been trying to cling to a comfort zone. I simply can’t do that anymore.
My creative energy has definitely been there, but as usual, my focus tends to wander. No person is a static object. Each of us is constantly evolving in ways that we do not at first realize until we actually sit back and reflect.
Human beings are always in constant flux, taking in new stimuli and forming new synaptic pathways… all of that scientific junk. But most of us grow in ways that aren’t obvious to ourselves, in ways that are sometimes more obvious to others… Actually, many of us backtrack in ways that only those truly close to us actually understand.
I’ll admit I’ve backtracked far too often. But I never stop trying, even when failure seems inevitable. That’s exactly it, though - you can’t expect failure or that’s all you’ll get. When will I finally get that?
Anyway, everything for me is in flux right now. I’m stepping back and seeing that while I’ve got some good things going, I have to decide where I’m going as a person.
So, when someone you love feels distant, this is probably what’s happening. When your loved one is feeling in flux, it can be immensely frustrating. But things almost always get worse before they get better. Sometimes, you truly have to watch someone completely fall apart before you get to see that person truly shine. That’s painful. But it happens.
We are all in flux in one way or another. No matter how successful someone might appear, no matter how confident that person may seem, there is always that little kink in the armor that only those that truly know someone can see. I have a lot of kinks. I’m working on them.
It’s OK to be in flux. None of us is perfect, and never will be. But we can work to be the best individuals that we can be. The world is always in flux. We just have to try and use our energies for the better.
Sometimes, each of us will fall short. But the whole “pick yourself up and keep going” bit is really true. We just have to constantly keep growing.
Are you feeling in flux? Are you not sure yet where you’re going.
No one really does. But wherever it is, if you keep focusing on your own growth, you’ll get there - wherever that may be. I have faith.