I have often thought about the potency of the human mind. Yet with all the power the human mind has, so many resist any idea that makes them uncomfortable, especially if it is the Truth.
There is a great deal of discord abound in my mind right now. So many options, so many avenues closed to me right now. I just can’t think dynamically, why am I so selfish? Why do I seek reward when I have done nothing yet? People have denied me the chance to truly shine and I simply hide away, feeling unwanted, but never unneeded, just unable to keep myself straight. I am confined by boundaries I made for myself, against my own will, but by my own misguided, ill-willed actions. I was never until now able to say what was truly on my mind, and now I just can’t say it plainly.
Why is it I must disguise my intention through Metaphor and Example rather than just lay it out for you all to digest in whatever way you will? Perhaps I am simply too artful an author for my own good.
I just can’t think, so I’ll just say whatever comes to me. That has always worked to some degree before.
I used to really want a spaceship. I think I still do. I want to journey to some far off star, where there live friendly aliens. And these adorable little aliens would greet me with big smiles and hugs; all the while, they would listen to whatever I have to say with great intent and wonder. That’s just it; I want to feel I have a caring audience, what every artist truly wants, not to hide in my “own little world” and come out only for a bite to eat and a sip to drink, something I have often done to little or no avail.
People have long been an obstacle for me. You could call it “social anxiety” or whatever bullshit label you want to stick to my troubles, but really, it’s just people are in my way most of the time, and when they’re not, they just misunderstand my true Intentions. I feel like I’m a pilgrim in my own land and if I could I would truly become a Pilgrim and get the hell out of Here, wherever Here really is.