I am having a really tough time. But we got through another day keeping Mekai inside and are still fighting to keep him in.

At this point, we are taking it one day at a time..well, really even an hour at a time. I'm having constant pain and constant contractions (but not yet where they need to be for a hospital visit) still. If it gets to any of the obvious warning signs or anything questionable happens, we will go into the hospital.

The obvious signs we are looking for are: regular contractions at equal intervals 4 times per hour (every 15 mins) that stay there or worsen and  won't stop, water breaking, bleeding from the cerclage stitches tearing, any other bleeding, and then of course all the other things you'd look for in labor or preterm labor as a normal sign of it or as something alarming.

I've been having contractions daily for months and they worsen each day but unfortunately this can continue and worsen up until I have him. This won't warrant a hospital visit until any of the above warning signs or conditions are met. Those are what we are trying to prevent and my fighting so far has kept the contractions from staying at emergency level.

However, last night and today they did jump close together for a time more than once and I was able to stop that. My body is really trying to make Mekai come soon. But I am fighting it with all my might.

It could end up being soon when my body wins this battle. So please do not put pressure on us for specific times as we do not have control over this other than to attempt to prolong it. Nor do the doctors even. We can all only do what is in our power, including us as well as the medical team. If it were 100 percent up to parents and medical staff, there wouldn't be preemie babies. They would all be term and healthy.

So it is hurtful to put exact dates in well wishes or tell us to keep him inside.

Please just send healthy vibes for him to be well no matter when he comes. 💜

For perspective, please do as we are and remember that Kymani (now almost 2 yrs old and super healthy) came early at 30 weeks gestation and had a NICU stay that she did very well during and is healthy now. In fact, she does not even go by preemie adjusted age for milestones and never did. She does everything ahead just like my term babies did.

We are at almost 29 weeks gestation with Mekai. All babies are different. But this is very close to when we had Kymani. She is very ok and whether he comes now or we are lucky and he waits til later, we fully expect Mekai to be ok too but are prepared for all situations as best we can be. 💜

Our medical team is awesome and we will be delivering in the same hospital we delivered Kymani and have access to the same awesome NICU if we need it. Of course we don't wish that he'll bea preemie. I mean, who does that?

But it would be stupid to not prepare in this situation and we have. And we are experienced with having a preemie baby and our medical team is more than qualified. Mekai is in good hands.

Please send positive vibes for him no matter whether he comes sooner or later. We hope later. But we believe the universe is holding him safe in its arms regardless. 💜

(picture is of some of Mekai's clothing because obviously we have no recent pics of him until the next ultrasound or until he's here lol)

We made it to another week! We're 28 weeks today and Mekai is still inside. A 28 week fetal  development slideshow is included below the text update.

How's Mekai doing?

Mekai is doing fantastic. He kicks around very vigorously almost 24/7. His most enthusiastic kicks occur when he hears voices of family members, certain nursery rhymes Nova & Kymani listen to, certain songs mommy & daddy listen to, and all foods and drinks. He really really likes it when I eat. Typical kid. Food on the brain. 😂😂😂 I can feel him getting bigger and he's also clearly very strong. Those are good assets for him to have in this situation.

How's the pregnancy going?

Each day he stays inside is a giant milestone. It's getting tougher and tougher daily and sometimes multiple times daily. Contractions start up frequently and I have to do everything in my power to stop them naturally, since I've already got in an emergency cerclage and am taking progesterone nightly. Warm baths, car rides, and forced sleep during extreme pain (even when I'm not tired) have been what's working.

The upside is that it's worked so far. The downside is that it's been at my expense. My body is extremely worn out and sore. That is intensified each time I have to stop contractions because the contractions are obviously wearing out my back and abdomen and making me really sore. And this has been going on ever since the cerclage at 19 weeks. That's on top of the pains that already exist in those places, in addition to the pelvic pain, the swollen legs and pain there, the inability to move around much, and so on.

There's more but I don't want this to turn into a complaining post lol The short of it is that I am not doing well, get worse multiple time times daily, and will likely continue to get worse and not better until Mekai is born. Keeping him inside is most definitely at my expense and that's an understatement. But he is worth it. Every day he is inside is better. So we will keep doing what works to keep him there until it doesn't work anymore and we will keep to all doctor orders as well. Whatever is good for him.

How am I doing?

Please don't ask how I'm doing because the answer will not be positive. I know people mean well but I won't be doing good until he's born and I don't want him born early. So I'd rather focus on him than me unless there was a point at which him staying inside would be harmful to him. We're not expecting that to happen. So please just keep sending positive energy toward Mekai being healthy and thanking the universe for each extra day and week that he stays inside.

If he's still inside, then my body is still doing badly and I'm likely fighting massive pain, but it still makes me happier each day he's inside. Because I am literally fighting these contractions so often and we have now hit the 28 week mark where my water broke with Kymani (kept her in 9 days after that with hospital monitoring), we know it's a very real possibility he may not stay inside until term and are prepared in case. But again, we will make all possible efforts to keep him inside as long as possible.

The body will eventually do what it wants to. But with our efforts and that of our awesome medical team, we can at the very least prolong it some. Maybe a lot. You never know. But again, please don't expect any specific days/dates or tell us you're praying for them, as we were told not to and we'd rather our family and friends be prepared and not in shock too if it doesn't go a specific way. The whole "prepare for the worst but hope for the best" thing because it's unhealthy to have any specific expectations in a situation like this. We are being positive but not unrealistic. 💜

How can people help?

Thanks to those of you who have asked. The best help right now is positive energy toward Mekai's health and toward my body keeping him inside as long as possible that is good for him. Also, as we've stated before, sharing any of our links from IntentsiveNature or any of the photos and links shared on Facebook mentioning our products and services helps. That is our business - our entire careers/jobs. That is where all of our money comes from - all of our customers and clients. So if it does good, we are able to take care of our family and when it doesn't, well I'm sure you can imagine.

It's at a slow time at the moment that is leftover from the usual winter season slowness. It should pick up soon but it'd be nice to see a boost sooner than normal because we're still working on getting everything together for Mekai and have a few pricey items and a few simple items left on our registry list to obtain soon, as well as normal bills and such. Anyhow, positive vibes and sharing links is really the best way to help right now. Thank you.

Thanks to those of you who have been reading through the updates and who have been supportive in other ways. We really appreciate all positive energy toward Mekai. 💜👶