by R.A. Rowell; Co-Owner ofIntent-sive Nature & theBrand Shamans network

Have you ever felt like your life is getting a bit too repetitive? I've been thinking a lot lately about the "rat race" and pondering that oft-repeated quote, "Even if you win the rat race, you're still a rat." The definition of the rat race, according to Wikipedia, is thus:
 
"A rat race is an endless, self-defeating, or pointless pursuit. It conjures up the image of lab rats racing through a maze to get the "cheese" much like society racing to get ahead financially.
 
"The term is commonly associated with an exhausting, repetitive lifestyle that leaves no time for relaxation or enjoyment."

 I'm quite certain that most people don't get caught up in a "rat race" on purpose. It's easy for people to fall into routines. There's nothing wrong with going to the same job every day. But everyone needs some sort of relaxation or enjoyment. How does someone fit this into their everyday life if you're going through the same exhausting motions every day?

 Each day is an experiment.

 That's right. Every day is a new day in which you can try something new. The most important thing about human beings is our capacity to learn and innovate. If we don't consistently find ways to improve upon what we do, we will feel exhausted and unfulfilled.
 
So perhaps, it's time for the "rats" to do their own experiments!
 
Sometimes, the daily experiment you might make is something seemingly trivial. Should I switch up my breakfast this morning? Should I try a new way to get to work? There are a lot of little ways to alter our routines to try something new. While some may not, some changes just might work better than what we did before.
 
The reason to try something new every day and experiment is pretty simple. If you keep doing the same thing over and over, you can't reasonably expect a different result. Some days are going to be better than others, of course. You'll have failed experiments. But having tried is the point. You may think that maybe not every vocation gives you much room for innovation. But truthfully, there is always some process or task that can be done just a bit better no matter what it is.
 
By doing a little experiment every day, even if it seems outrageous at first, you expand your horizons. Sometimes all you need is just a little bit of creativity to spark something new in your life. You never know what you'll find through experiments.
 
Keep in mind that some accidents turn into brilliant things and failed experiments can turn into world-altering discoveries. You may not think you can change the world, but you can do a lot more than you might think. All you have to do is experiment. Just try to be safe about it!

by R.A. Rowell; Co-Owner ofIntent-sive Nature & theBrand Shamans network

"Just no! Stop asking me that!"

When you have someone like me who always seems to have too much to say, it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to not have plenty to say about perhaps the most life-changing event that has ever happened to me.

Back in December of 2014, I was on my deathbed with a rare cancer known as mediastinal seminoma. It was highly treatable, fortunately for me, but it was a long, dreadful struggle between the chemotherapy, the chemo's side effects, and recovery. I really wasn't myself even for up to a year after the chemo was finished. It was actually recommended that I have what was left of the tumor - dead as it was - surgically removed by my doctors in Boston. I declined the surgery, as it was essentially open heart surgery and I wasn't going to be bed-ridden for another few months. And it was too risky.

I said at the time that when it was all over I would write a book about my experiences. But I found myself asking myself, "What is there to say, really?"

That seems like an odd thing to think, doesn't it? I should have plenty to say about my experience, right? No, not really. I feel like the more that I think about it, the more that I give attention to the cancer I beat, and why should I? Why do I think this way?

Yet I lived in this fear that the cancer would just suddenly re-emerge. And it hasn't. But I've seen it come back with so many people, and just have it be a silent killer out of nowhere.

I'm a believer that the cancer happened the way that it did to wake me up and realize how precious life really is. At the time it did. But so much has happened since then. You would think that would be a story in itself. But again, what is there to say? Life happens? Yeah, pretty much. You can't let the sometimes greatly cruel randomness of life take away what's precious to you in it. That's the lesson to take away from any crappy thing that happens to you.

So what else is there to say about my battle with cancer that hasn't been said already? What unique perspective do I have to share? Why do I struggle so much to talk about it?

When I can finally answer that question, I'll let you know.

But in the meantime, I will just say this. If there's something that people keep pestering you to talk about, and you don't want to, don't give in. When the time is right, if the occasion presents itself, you will.

When Lyn and I met in person for the first time, I almost died of a heart attack. But after only about fifteen minutes, it was like we’d always been together. After Lyn arrived, the news only got better. Not only had my cancer not spread, it was highly treatable and even curable. It would take three months of chemotherapy, but with a 95 percent chance of survival. And now, I had a very good reason to survive.

Those were three of the most difficult months of my life. But with the support of my amazing partner, I was able to pull through. We ended up staying in Massachusetts for six months, three for the chemo and three for recovery. At one point, surgery to remove the remaining dead tumor was on the table. But we decided that the risks were too great and that subsequent three-month follow-up appointments to check for any new growth were the better option. We finally drove cross-country in mid-May to rejoin her kids. It's been a roller-coaster ride since then, but somehow, we have found ways to make things work.

The Miracle

Lyn and I really wanted to have a baby together. But after the type of cancer that I had, and the chemotherapy, chances that I would still be fertile were slim. We decided to forgo fertility testing for me and simply try the old-fashioned way. On October 8th 2015, Lyn wasn't feeling so well. Sure enough, when we went to urgent care, it turned out she was pregnant. We made an appointment with her old OB/GYN, Dr. Johnson, soon afterward and had an ultrasound. The baby was healthy and tentatively due June 4th.

Upon sharing this news, the outpouring of support was incredible. This is my first child, and Lyn's 5th,. I'm proud to be a new father and I never could have imagined a year ago having this miracle ever come to be. To celebrate her and chronicle the events leading up to her birth, Lyn and I created a dedicated blog page just for her right after we had decided on her name. It's called The Nova Skye Story.

After a long and tumultuous pregnancy, and a rather scary birth story, Nova Skye Rowell was born healthy and happy at 11:20pm on June 2nd, 2016 at Rose Medical Center in Denver, CO. She has been such a blessing, a perfect little baby. Nova has fulfilled my lifelong dream of becoming a father, something that I never thought would be possible for so many reasons. The Nova Skye Story will continue to tell her story.

After dealing with a rollercoaster of ups and downs, we ended up being blessed with not just one more surprise, but two! Our second daughter, Kymani, was born June 8th, 2017 at just 30 weeks - but she went onto be just fine! Then, in an absolute shocker, we'd be blessed with  our third and final child, our son Mekai on July 14, 2019. So, I essentially went from my deathbed to having three children four years later. Quite a turnaround!

I hope our story helps you realize that you just need to really look at the good things in life. That's where you draw your positive energy from. That's what you need to focus on. The ability to make positive things come out of negative situations is what makes us human. Overcome the evil, embrace the positive, and be part of the change our society needs. You never know who you will meet that will help you change the world.

by Phoenix A. Desertsong, Staff Writer, Healer & Advocate

“One must be sane to think clearly, but one can think deeply and be quite insane.” - Nikola Tesla

Have you ever thought too deeply about something? I certainly have. Doing so can drive you mad. Sometimes you have to learn to step away from things before you can make any real progress.

As Nikola Tesla said, thinking deeply and thinking clearly are definitely not the same thing. I could also bring up Albert Einstein’s definition of insanity: trying the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

Look at how many storybook villains work so hard, but forever fruitlessly, towards an impossible goal. You can't blame them for not thinking deeply and being persistent. But, clarity of thought certainly isn't in their repertoire. It's tragic, really.

Personally, I prefer villains who can in fact think clearly. Those tend to be the most dangerous and fascinating ones for me. Exercises in futility get tiresome for me after awhile.

Sadly enough, real life people exercise futility far too often. I most certainly am guilty of exercising insane levels of futility. If you start thinking too deeply about something that can unfortunately mess you up fairly badly.

If you start finding your thinking derailing, take a break. No matter how urgent something might be, take what time you can. You're better off finding a moment of clarity than sinking into hours of deep thought that could just send you down a deep dark tunnel of insanity.

Back when Tesla first said this quote, he felt that the scientists of his day were thinking more deeply than clearly. With how many “experts” and highly specialized fields we have today, it’s easier than ever to think a bit too deeply about something. It’s easy when studying something too closely to lose perspective. He's still right and this advice is still very good.

Clear thinking is the best way to go. If you find yourself lost in thought, then perhaps you’ve been on that track a bit too long. Shift gears, then come back with a clearer head. You and your exploits will be better off for it.

~ Phoenix <3

"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can." - Arthur Ashe

The late Arthur Ashe was the first African American to participate in international pro tennis. It is deceptively simple wisdom, and it sounds like common sense. You can only start where you are. You can only use what you have. And believe it or not, you can only do what you can. Considering how he spent his 49 years on this earth, we can learn much from his example.

Your Starting Point Should Be Your Advantage

Many people complain about their standing in life, and continue to complain about it until they’re blue in the face. Of course, there are still others that brag about their position in life as a birthright. Embracing where you come from and taking it into account in deciding what it will take to get to the next level is important.

You can’t change where you start. But, you change where you will go going forward. Each of us starts with certain advantages and disadvantages no matter our status. It’s important to understand that there are advantages - and disadvantages - to every starting point. Identifying those are an important step in beginning any endeavor.

In Arthur Ashe’s case, he started from what was considered a position of disadvantage. But he turned that disadvantage into an advantage in the end. He used his standing as an African American to a definite advantage. As the only black man to ever win Wimbledon, Ashe brought awareness to extremely important social issues, such as poverty and racial stereotyping. Beyond tennis, he became a prominent speaker. So, while he did start at a disadvantage in the eyes of society, he actually used this starting place. Ashe launched both a successful tennis career and another as a social activist.


Identifying the Skills You Need to Follow Your Passions

When it comes to using what you have, you will need to take your passions and build the skills necessary to succeed at the highest level at those things. It’s really best to focus yourself on only one or two things and not overwhelm yourself. In the meantime, you can brush up on complimentary skills in any number of other areas.

No skill that is learned or mastered is wasted effort. It can be surprising how a wide breadth of skills does far more than just give you stuff to list on a resume. Knowledge is applicable in ways you would never expect.

Say your dream is to be a baseball player. Obviously, there are talents needed to play baseball at a high level. These include hand-eye coordination and physical flexibility. It’s best to identify what skills you are best at, whether you’re more talented with the bat or with the glove or with the ball in your hand. That’s how coaches eventually figure out a player’s “natural” position.

But it’s still best to try playing everywhere you can. Diversifying your skill set only makes you a better player in the long run. And versatility makes you more valuable in so many ways.

Talent is not everything. Just like it’s good to try out all the different positions in baseball, diversifying your activities helps you become a well-rounded person. For example, playing a completely different sport could teach you training methods that you wouldn't ever connect to baseball. However, those methods may enhance the skills that you already have excelled in.

You can also study how coaches from all sorts of sports motivate (or demotivate) other players. This can help you to understand what motivational methods work best for you. These you may later use to help motivate your teammates and peers, as well. Turn your passion into something that can do a lot of good for others. This is the best way to build the skills to help you succeed, as well.


You Can Only Do What You Can

This is the most important  part. Yes, you really can only do what you really can. It is a sad truth for many aspiring ballplayers that you may find that you don’t have the physical skills necessary. Not everyone can rise to the highest level like Ashe did in his sport. Sometimes, determination and hard practice can help you to overcome physical limitations. But if you can’t perform, then you can’t.

Yes, even the best will have your off-days. Sometimes you just have to remember that you need to just use your yesterdays as learning experiences, and not burdens to be treated as baggage. But, eventually, you may find you're not getting better as a player. You need to not waste your time trying to improve at something you’re not able to. Recognizing that is the hardest part. Sometimes, it is for the better.

How can failing at your life dream actually be for the better? What you do is find something related to your passion. In the case of baseball, this could include working in a baseball front office. It could be working in sports marketing, or perhaps sports writing. You then take all you've learned through your failures and successes. Share those experiences and those skills you worked on to help others. That’s how you get coaches. And there’s nothing better in life than helping to coach others. You can be a coach in anything, believe it or not.

Arthur Ashe used his relatively short life to great advantage. He really did all he could. I could write an entire profile about him, but the obituary of him written by Robin Finn tells his story well as it can be told. Read it here on the New York Times Website.


The Takeaway

In anything that you do, make sure that you are always growing and refining your skills. Someday you may find yourself in a position to mentor others in whatever your passions are. By helping others that share your passions, you will find that your own passions will grow, as well. Just remember to turn your disadvantage into advantages and any advantages into advantages for not only yourself, but everyone around you.

If I could have one superpower, it would be the power of flight. There are places I wish I could go, but can’t get to because of the costs of transportation. If I could fly, I would go so many places. I want to get out into the world and help people everywhere.

Flying under my own power would make traveling a heck of a lot easier. Every mode of transportation has its flaws. Being able to fly under my own power would allow me to go wherever I want, whenever I want without the hassle of using roads or any other sort of public transportation. I wouldn’t have to pay for gas or fare, either.

Flying has always been a dream for me. The funny thing is I’ve never actually flown in my life. But I’m pretty sure I know what it’s like. I can recall myself dreaming many times of jumping off a place of great heights and feeling the air under me take me a great distance. I somehow every time either land relatively safely, or I wake up horrified of great heights.

That’s one problem with flying. I’m terrified by heights. But I’d do my very, very best to overcome that fear if I really could fly. I think many people are terrified by flying. People are very attached to terra firma. But sometimes, here on the ground, you can’t see the whole picture. One of the great things about flying is that you can see a long, long way around you. I want to see the world, and me being able to fly is the only way I’d ever see it all in a lifetime.

I’ve long dreamed of being able to fly around the world and help everyone that I can. I’m a very compassionate person at heart, and I want to help whoever I can. The ability to fly would make that job a lot easier and I’d be able to help a far greater number of people. They say it’s a small world, but the Earth’s really quite a huge place. It’s impossible to say you’ve been everywhere around it. It just isn’t humanly possible.

It’s true that commercial flights have really made our world virtually smaller. It’s so much easier to travel great distances. But the airlines don’t always provide the destinations you really want to go. If I could fly under my own power, I’d go to the far corners of the earth.

Sure, I’d probably have my share of rescuing cats from trees, and I’d probably wave to passing planes. I wouldn’t just use my power to have fun with it though. Superpowers are not made to be wasted. They are meant to be used for the greater good.

Though ordinary everyday people don’t seem to have superpowers as we’d like to think of them, each and everybody has special and unique talents they can share with the world to try and make it a better place. We are each given special abilities, and they are meant to be used to help our fellow human beings and to make the best we can of this world.

We can dream of super powers. Super powers would certainly make things a lot easier, but you can’t trust everyone with super powers. Some people aren’t responsible enough to use them. It’s just the truth. But human beings are not weak. It’s all about using what you have the best you possibly can.

We’ve always looked up to fictional heroes with all sorts of super powers. But heroes don’t need flashy superpowers to be heroes. Kind hearts and compassionate souls are the best heroes you can possibly have. Your family and your friends are heroes often times are people you don’t even recognize as heroes. Everybody has someone they consider a hero, though they may not realize that.

As nice as it would be, I don’t need any superpowers to do good.  I know I have talents and abilities that I can use to make a lot of good in the world. It certainly would, however, be a grand thing if I could fly.

The thing is, I don’t know if I’d ever want to walk again. We can dream. And even though we don’t have super powers, and we’re all just human, we can all be superheroes in our communities, in our own little corner of the world if we put enough energy into it. Still, it’d be awesome to literally swoop in and save the day, wouldn’t it? I think walking in and saving the day has pretty much the same effect.

You don’t have to be flashy to do good. In fact, maybe that’s the best way to do good, quietly and discretely as possible. I could swoop in from a distance, help out, and quietly take off again. Hey, it’s a great dream to have. There’s nothing like an imagination. And when you help people often enough, you’ll feel like a hero. Whether or not you can actually fly, you’ll feel like you can!


Photo credit: Pixabay, Public Domain

"With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts." - Eleanor Roosevelt (source)

So many days I've awoken with worries. I then get stuck on those worries, and they drag me down. I think about past failures. But even thinking that I'm simply reflecting on them and trying to learn from them, I find myself still thinking about them. As I've learned, the more that you think about failure, the more that you end up dooming yourself to fail.

Therefore, it's important every morning to look forward. Think about your dreams and set goals. This is how I turned myself around after years of wallowing in depression. You have to visualize the steps you need to take towards your goals. Then, take one step at a time.

Don't try to take a bunch of big steps all at once. You will fall some times. But with each new day, there's always a chance to take that next step! This is the best way to work towards reaching your dreams! It's working for me. I'm sure it will work for you, too!