Will You Trade Credit Scores With Me (Craigslist Satire)

by Lyn Lomasi, Staff Writer

Reading the barter section of craigslist.org gave me an idea. Since all these people are trading such lovely things, I've got something to trade too. It's in okay condition but needs some touching up. If you'll trade me yours in excellent condition, I'll give you mine in slightly (read very) damaged.


Since you have such excellent credit, I'm sure you'll be able to refurbish mine in no time. It's really not that bad. It just needs a little bit of work. You obviously know what you are doing, since yours is so very high.

The one you'll get in return sure could use some handiwork. You can't yet use it to purchase anything of value, but I'm sure you'll shape it up in no time, being that you're such an expert. Besides, you probably need a break from getting all that wonderful stuff. You're probably getting a little bit spoiled and that's not good for you, according to the experts (or at least according to your mother).

You're starting to under-appreciate all those things that I've never had and I'm starting to feel like I won't ever get anything. Therefore, this arrangement would let us help each other out. By starting out where my credit is, you'll learn again to appreciate and by having your credit, I'll finally be able to get some of the things I've always needed. There's something in it for us both.

I'll appreciate it more than you'll ever know. I can promise you that. I'll take good care of it and follow your directions on how to keep it in good shape. I definitely need a lesson or two.

Once you clear mine up and make it shiny and new, we can trade back. You have my word. I never break a promise. Ask all my friends and family. I'm sure they'll vouch for me after I pay them back with your credit card.

*I originally published a version of this via Yahoo Contributor Network

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