This weekend I connected personally with the fact that you can't always be positive and that's OK. I knew that. I've walked this road before. Things do get better. Positivity helps. But this weekend was the camels back straw. It sucked big time. Anyway, I had to remind myself that it's OK to be sad. It's OK to have regrets. It's even OK to feel guilty and miserable and downright awful sometimes.
In fact, it's not just OK. Grief and sadness can be very healing. Especially if you cry your eyes out. That's a physical cleansing as well. Negativity is a necessary part of life. It prompts us to do better. Even when we've done nothing wrong, it inspires us to appreciate the good times, spend more time with those we love and not knitpick their faults or ours.
Sads can come all together in a horrid bunch of bad news. This weekend we not only lost Bobo. Ya, that's him in the picture. We also got another huge bit of bad news concerning a family member. After everything we've gone through this year with Covid, politics causing friends to leave us in the dust, people bad mouthing us for various things from supporting BLM to going vegan, it's been a real kicker.
We're broke. We're sad. We're grieving. All I want to do is put my toes in the sand and listen to the waves crash while the smell of the water permeates my soul. So, of course, yesterday, for the third time, lines were hours long at the reservoir. It figures, right? Even if we had waited in the long lines, we'd be risking our health with all the crowd on the beach. UGH!
I don't want to sound cliché' but 2020 can take a flying leap into oblivion.
Also, I've had about all the cleansing lessons that I can stand.
So today, my awesome daughter and her equally awesome boyfriend are driving out here to the boonies, picking me up and taking me to my happy place. It won't bring Bobo back. It won't change anything. However, this morning, we will hopefully beat the lines, crowds and throngs, head for the semi-secret portion of the reservoir and enjoy a different kind of cleansing.
I'm glad I'm sad. I'll never be glad about the reasons. But now I have a chance to pause, reflect and move on to better things, however slowly. Because of the sadness, I'll try to be more diligent and observant with everything. I'll treasure my loved ones a little more. I'll be more willing to accept their imperfections, as well as my own.
I will let myself cry, pout and feel guilty just for a bit. Then I'll take that hard lesson and use it to live a better life.
It's not just OK to be sad, it's necessary.
In fact, it's not just OK. Grief and sadness can be very healing. Especially if you cry your eyes out. That's a physical cleansing as well. Negativity is a necessary part of life. It prompts us to do better. Even when we've done nothing wrong, it inspires us to appreciate the good times, spend more time with those we love and not knitpick their faults or ours.
Sads can come all together in a horrid bunch of bad news. This weekend we not only lost Bobo. Ya, that's him in the picture. We also got another huge bit of bad news concerning a family member. After everything we've gone through this year with Covid, politics causing friends to leave us in the dust, people bad mouthing us for various things from supporting BLM to going vegan, it's been a real kicker.
We're broke. We're sad. We're grieving. All I want to do is put my toes in the sand and listen to the waves crash while the smell of the water permeates my soul. So, of course, yesterday, for the third time, lines were hours long at the reservoir. It figures, right? Even if we had waited in the long lines, we'd be risking our health with all the crowd on the beach. UGH!
I don't want to sound cliché' but 2020 can take a flying leap into oblivion.
Also, I've had about all the cleansing lessons that I can stand.
So today, my awesome daughter and her equally awesome boyfriend are driving out here to the boonies, picking me up and taking me to my happy place. It won't bring Bobo back. It won't change anything. However, this morning, we will hopefully beat the lines, crowds and throngs, head for the semi-secret portion of the reservoir and enjoy a different kind of cleansing.
I'm glad I'm sad. I'll never be glad about the reasons. But now I have a chance to pause, reflect and move on to better things, however slowly. Because of the sadness, I'll try to be more diligent and observant with everything. I'll treasure my loved ones a little more. I'll be more willing to accept their imperfections, as well as my own.
I will let myself cry, pout and feel guilty just for a bit. Then I'll take that hard lesson and use it to live a better life.
It's not just OK to be sad, it's necessary.
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