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5 Tips for Dating a Guy Who Hates His Job

9/10/2016

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by Tara Bard, Contributing Writer
Day 5, Project 365 - 10.25.09
In a tough economy or at the start of a career, more than a few of us dislike our jobs. Many in the workforce suffer from annoying bosses, impossible deadlines and compensation not quite commensurate with experience. Are you dating or married to someone who deals with these daily pressures? If so, you understand how it can have a negative affect on his mood - and your relationship. Here are five ways to help your partner if he's having issues with his job.

Break the Routine

Repetition is one of the most annoying things about a difficult job. Who likes doing the exact same thing every day? In particular, 9-to-5 jobs require a rigid routine. To help your partner cope with the monotony, consider breaking the routine. Even the smallest mid-week surprises can encourage him to stick out the work week.
  • Go to a place you haven't been before
  • Make a surprise special dinner
  • Serve breakfast in bed
  • Pack a special dessert in his lunch

Respect His Need for Alone Time

When my husband comes home from work, he's usually stressed out. He needs about an hour to unwind - sometimes he'll play a video game, watch TV or take a shower. After that, he's ready to converse about the day, walk the dogs or share a meal.

If you're like me, you want to catch up on your day the moment your partner walks in the door. As a writer, my job is pretty solitary, so I'm eager to socialize when I get the chance. My husband's job is the opposite - he deals with cranky customers during the day, so sometimes he needs a bit of time to himself at the end of his work day.

Be a Good Listener

Having support at home is crucial for anyone who hates his job, especially since it may not be appropriate for your partner to share his gripes about bosses, coworkers or customers at work. Sometimes, it will help your partner just to air his grievances without someone judging him or without the fear of getting in trouble.

Listen for a few minutes without talking. Since I've become a better listener, I have noticed that my husband responds by doing the same. Two-way communication is always a benefit to your marriage.

Sympathize

It's one thing to listen, but it's another thing to communicate your understanding of your partner's topic. If I don't understand my husband's concerns about work (or the processes and procedures at his job), I ask him. When I understand why he's upset, I let him know. This goes a long way in letting him know his concerns have been heard, which is especially important when he needs to think about something before articulating it to his boss.

Think of a Way to Make Things Easier

Suggestions for improvement or positive change can help your partner feel less stuck - whether he feels stuck in his job or in a routine. With a removed perspective, you can gently suggest areas of improvement that will make the job more bearable.

Ultimately, if your partner is continually unhappy in his job, it may be time to suggest he find alternate employment. If he decides to do this, the job application task will require a great deal of emotional support as well.

Through all of this, don't neglect yourself or forget to take care of your own needs, either. Each of you must remain forward-thinking if the relationship is to work along with your careers.
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Difficult Dating Topics: Discussing Religion

9/10/2016

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by Tara Bard, Contributing Writer
Dating
Unless you've chosen specifically to date someone within your religion or set of beliefs, eventually religion becomes a topic of discussion. If it's important to you or your partner, the religion topic will come up well before the relationship is significantly developed. Even if you know your partner's religious affiliation, you may find yourself unaware of how important religion is to him or whether it's something he'd change.

As one of the many 'spiritual but not religious' out there, I found this aspect of dating particularly fascinating. Understanding my own beliefs and expressing them respectfully was especially helpful along with these tips.

Know Yourself and Your Priorities

How important is religion to your personal identity? There is no right or wrong answer, just a matter of preference. My whole spiritual concept kind of follows a 'live and let live' philosophy, so I am open to interacting with people of all types as long as they don't force their beliefs on me. This also applied when I was single and dating. When dating, I thought a lot about my own limits. What beliefs made me feel comfortable or uncomfortable and why? It's important to be honest with yourself when it comes to these questions - that way you can give your date an honest answer. Before the religion conversation, ask yourself:

  • Would I convert to another religion or expect my partner to do the same?
  • Would I change my place of worship?
  • Are my answers based on my own feelings or just to please my parents?

Discuss Morals and Values

If you're not sure about your date's comfort level regarding the topic of religion, try approaching the topic from the more general perspective of morals or values. Because I am not a part of a specific sect or religion and because I have pagan leanings, I found myself answering a laundry list of questions from dates. Most of these were just general moral questions rather than curiosities about scripture or doctrine, and I was very comfortable with this.

For many, having compatible values is far more important than sharing a religious doctrine with a partner.

That said, controversial topics such as abortion and same-sex marriage could come up when discussing morals, regardless of whether you are discussing religion. Be prepared to discuss this in a tactful and respectful fashion to avoid a major disagreement.

Understand Your Own Feelings on Children and Religion

If you want to have children (or already have them), define your own feelings on children and religion. You should ask yourself the following questions:
  • Would you be comfortable with your children being raised in your partner's house of worship? Why or why not?
  • Would having children raised in another sect or religion preclude them from participating in your own establishment's worship?
  • Are you going to raise your children in a set religion, or are they free to choose?
These are definitely important things to know yourself - and to discuss before taking a serious step in a relationship if you have children or plan to someday.

Ending or Pursuing a Relationship

After the discussion, you and your partner may need to determine whether to continue or end your relationship. If your beliefs are fundamentally opposing, it may not be possible to pursue the relationship. However, if you disagree on only a few points, it's likely that you can respect each other, compromise, and work around any issues.

When my husband and I were dating, we found that we shared most moral beliefs and family values, even though our religious affiliations differed. This factored into our decision to continue our relationship.
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The Perfect Strip Tease at Home can be Fun Too

10/31/2013

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by Janet Walker, Contributing Writer
Picture
Not everyone can be a stripper as it is a difficult occupation and it can be hard to take off your clothes in front of strangers for money.  Some people have moral issues with it and others feel that they may not be sexy enough to make any money.  But everyone can be a stripper at home and can have fun while they are doing it.  There’s nothing wrong with a little strip tease for a loved one who will appreciate it and love the fact that you tried.  Below are some tips for pulling off the perfect strip tease for your hubby or lover that will knock their socks off!

Stick to Your Comfort Level Even if you are planning on doing a strip tease online to make money, you should only go as far as you are comfortable with.  You can offer a strip tease in the comfort of your home which may take away the scariness of performing in front of “live” people.  If you prefer, you can stick to simply dancing for your partner and they do make an appreciative audience.  Even in this setting, it can be uncomfortable getting all the way naked in this type of setting.  So, if it makes you feel better, only undress down to your sexy lingerie the first few times and then give your lover a surprise with a total nude show when they least expect it and when you feel comfortable enough.

Practice in Front of a Mirror One of the best ways to see how you look when you are dancing is to do your routine in front of a mirror first.  This way you can improve upon your technique without making any mistakes in front of your “audience”.  Get into your full costume, put on your makeup and let go to see what your body and face look like while you are dancing.  Practice does make perfect as they say and it can be fun to just let loose on your own without worrying about what people will think.  You may find that you’re a great dancer and that you have some awesome moves!

Go Shopping Who doesn’t love to go shopping?  One of the best aspects of doing a strip tease is the awesome wardrobe that is worn during the dance.  Don’t be afraid to go to an adult store that specializes in clothing for exotic dancers.  If this is too far out of your comfort zone, go to a party store that sells costumes and pick up a few different fantasy style costumes that you can wear while you are doing your dance.  A sexy nurse, hot maid or even a school girl outfit are all sure to please your spouse or lover in ways that you could never have imagined. 

There is nothing wrong with stripping at home and you should always be comfortable and just have fun with it.  You’ll find that the person you are stripping for will appreciate your efforts and you may just get a sexy dance back in return!


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