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by Tara Bard, Contributing Writer
Unless you've chosen specifically to date someone within your religion or set of beliefs, eventually religion becomes a topic of discussion. If it's important to you or your partner, the religion topic will come up well before the relationship is significantly developed. Even if you know your partner's religious affiliation, you may find yourself unaware of how important religion is to him or whether it's something he'd change.
As one of the many 'spiritual but not religious' out there, I found this aspect of dating particularly fascinating. Understanding my own beliefs and expressing them respectfully was especially helpful along with these tips. Know Yourself and Your Priorities How important is religion to your personal identity? There is no right or wrong answer, just a matter of preference. My whole spiritual concept kind of follows a 'live and let live' philosophy, so I am open to interacting with people of all types as long as they don't force their beliefs on me. This also applied when I was single and dating. When dating, I thought a lot about my own limits. What beliefs made me feel comfortable or uncomfortable and why? It's important to be honest with yourself when it comes to these questions - that way you can give your date an honest answer. Before the religion conversation, ask yourself:
Discuss Morals and Values If you're not sure about your date's comfort level regarding the topic of religion, try approaching the topic from the more general perspective of morals or values. Because I am not a part of a specific sect or religion and because I have pagan leanings, I found myself answering a laundry list of questions from dates. Most of these were just general moral questions rather than curiosities about scripture or doctrine, and I was very comfortable with this. For many, having compatible values is far more important than sharing a religious doctrine with a partner. That said, controversial topics such as abortion and same-sex marriage could come up when discussing morals, regardless of whether you are discussing religion. Be prepared to discuss this in a tactful and respectful fashion to avoid a major disagreement. Understand Your Own Feelings on Children and Religion If you want to have children (or already have them), define your own feelings on children and religion. You should ask yourself the following questions:
Ending or Pursuing a Relationship After the discussion, you and your partner may need to determine whether to continue or end your relationship. If your beliefs are fundamentally opposing, it may not be possible to pursue the relationship. However, if you disagree on only a few points, it's likely that you can respect each other, compromise, and work around any issues. When my husband and I were dating, we found that we shared most moral beliefs and family values, even though our religious affiliations differed. This factored into our decision to continue our relationship. Content Manifested by Intent-sive Nature by Brand Shamans. Brand Shamans Content Community LLC helps save the web from crap content daily! Save time and get your quality custom or pre-written web content NOW!
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Lyn Lomasi is founder and owner of the Brand Shamans Content Community. Services include ordained soul therapy and healing ministry, business success coaching, business success services, handcrafted healing jewelry, ethereal and anointing oils, altar and spiritual supplies and services, handcrafted healing beauty products, and more!
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December 2017
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