byLyn Lomasi,Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff

Tired of shouting up the stairs to a child who is watching TV instead of cleaning their room? There’s a better way. Learn why this scenario rarely gets positive results and how to get your kids to clean their rooms.

Yelling will likely not resolve too many problems. Sometimes, it can work for the moment, but it also can worsen the issue in the future. Instead, try a little creativity and consistency.

Creativity

Creativity, in combination with consistency, can play an important role in getting kids to do tasks such cleaning their rooms. Who says chores have to be boring? Why not make them fun?

For preschoolers and toddlers, try having races to the toy box. If a toy grocery cart or wagon is available, the children can pick up more toys at once. Racing with the cart or wagon can be fun. With older kids you may have to try something else.

Often, the reason behind older kids not cleaning is because there is not an exact place for everything. Try taking the kids each on their own separate shopping trip. Allow them to pick out organizational items for their room. To make it more fun, allow them to personalize those items with paint or fabric.

Think about your child's favorite activity and try to incorporate that in cleaning the room. For instance, if your kids enjoy dancing, you can turn on the music. To get your kids to clean their rooms let them know they can dance while cleaning.

Creative ideas do not have to be limited to those above. They may even need to be updated periodically as your kids get bored. Sometimes all that is needed to motivate kids to clean their rooms is a fresh idea that hasn't been used before. Also, this could act as an opportunity for creative play with your child. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, creative play is essential.

Consistency

If you have instructed your kids to clean their rooms, you must show them you are serious about it, even if it’s fun. Stay in close proximity to the rooms until they are clean and keep finding more fun ways to get the job done so they don’t get bored or lose sight of the task at hand.

It is possible to be fun and serious at the same time. When you are trying to get the kids to clean their rooms with fun and creativity, it should be evident that whether they choose to have fun with it or not, their rooms still need to be cleaned. But make sure it’s their choice. This teaches more responsibility. When combining creativity and consistency, the kids should easily understand that their room is going to get cleaned.

More On Cleaning With Kids:
Upstream Parenting:  What To Do When Young Kids Won't Clean    
Why is My Child's Room So Messy?

by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff

For whatever reason, kids can often feel as though they are the odd one out - that no one understands them. You know full well that your kids matter. Show them just how much with some positive parenting. Most parents do care and want their kids to know that, but some just aren't sure how to put feelings into action.

Give them choices. Although you may want everything to go a certain way, kids should be a part of family decisions, too. Sometimes - maybe many times - not everyone is going to agree on things. Let the kids decide what to do whenever possible. This shows them their thoughts matter to you. When kids know they matter, they may be more inclined to respect your wishes for decisions you must make.

Respect their opinions. Even when their opinions differ from yours - and they will sometimes - respect what your kids think. Things don't always have to go their way. But let them be individuals. Sooner or later your child is going to grow up. He needs to know his voice matters to be respected in the world outside your home. Even inside the home, your child's opinions and insight should count.

Give them freedom. There are limits to this for safety reasons, of course. But give your kids some freedom. They don't need to be right next to you at every moment. Trust them to do age-appropriate tasks without your assistance. It can be a parental instinct to be a mother hen or a father lion. That's part of being a parent, but if we don't let them do some things for themselves, they will never learn.

Let them teach you about their favorite things. You may be old and wise, but kids have so much to teach us adults. Listen. Let your child know that her interests are important to you. Sometimes what kids are interested in don't line up with those of their parents. Still, you need to be supportive of your child's individuality. Don't try to force your interests on him and don't attempt to keep him from his unless they are harmful in nature.

Show affection even when they misbehave. Even when kids misbehave, they still deserve your love. Discipline must take place. But that doesn't mean a hug isn't in order. In fact, that may be exactly what the doctor has ordered. Show your child his feelings matter to you by still showing affection, even in difficult times.

*I originally published this via Yahoo Contributor Network

by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff

Is your baby in need of some discipline? If your baby is crying frequently and it's been determined that it isn't a medical issue, you might need these easy discipline tricks for babies. As an experienced mother and former nanny, I have cared for many babies. Disciplining babies is not as difficult as it may seem. With babies, discipline is more about consistency and routine. Babies are not actually misbehaving when whining or crying. That is the way they know how to communicate. Easy discipline tricks for babies should be gentle and offer love, consistency, and guidance.

Love is a Simple, Effective Discipline Trick

A happy baby is generally a well-behaved baby, in my experience. What makes babies happier than love? I'm not talking just hugs and kisses either, but those are good too. Love also involves taking care of all of baby's basic needs such as feeding, burping, diapering, clothing, playing, and soothing. Keeping baby happy with basic care, love, and entertainment may be all that is required for some babies.

Routine as Discipline is Easy

Forming a routine schedule for feedings, naps, playtime, and bedtime is one of the most simple discipline tricks for babies. If the schedule is followed consistently, most babies automatically become accustomed to it. Therefore, this can help avoid instances where the baby wants to get up and play at one or two in the morning. The baby who does this is not misbehaving because during the baby stage it is up to the parent to establish a routine. Changing the routine even once can form unwanted habits.

Parental Limits Make for Easy Discipline

As a parent, I fully understand wanting to do so many things for your baby. However, we must set limits. Do not give in to every single demand. Of course babies need to have basic needs met and also need to have some fun. However, it can hinder them later if you always give them every single thing they want. For some parents, this may not belong under easy discipline tricks for babies because it can be difficult at times not to give in. But trust me, it will pay off as they become toddlers and start moving into the "Terrible Two's" stage.

Toy Purposing Simplifies Discipline

Toy purposing is another of my favorite easy discipline tricks for babies. Keep different toys in different areas and for different purposes. Many times when babies get cranky, they actually are just bored. Pulling out different toys can help solve that issue. Have a special set of toys for doctor visits, another for car rides, one for park outings, etc. This way, babies don't bore with the toys as easily. Plus, when they get cranky, it can seem like you are giving them a new toy. If they don't see the same toys all the time, the toys can be a welcome distraction.

Positive Redirection Makes Disciplining Babies Easy

Some babies can be a little feistier and may need to be gently redirected into a different activity or situation. If a baby is getting frustrated over something, simply remove them from the situation. If two babies are fighting over a toy, remove both babies and give them each a different toy. If a baby is getting frustrated at trying to reach a mobile toy, place the baby away from the mobile for a while. Positive redirection is simply a way to let the baby know that the behavior is not acceptable without even having to say so. You are showing this to the baby with the easy discipline trick of removing the situation.

Note: The author's positive parenting method has evolved into what she calls Upstream Parenting.

by Lyn Lomasi, Write W.A.V.E. Media Staff

Whenever I venture outside, especially during the summer, I expect to hear objectifying comments from a few directions before I reach my destination. Sad, but nonetheless true. I don't like it but I generally shake it off, except one of those I heard today. It wasn't what was said but who it came from.

A young child , probably not more than eight (my own son is this age), was yelling comments at me like “D***, you're hot”, “Hey lady, come here”, and the obligatory whistle. Wow, really? Where did he pick that up from? He had to have heard it somewhere.

I don't want to immediately judge and say it came from the parents because it may not have. Perhaps he saw someone else do it. I don't know where this kid got the lesson on objectifying women in that way, but wow is that dangerous or what? It's also not the way a young child should be looking at a woman or even a girl (or boy).

First off, it's simply a disrespectful act and if he is already doing it this young, it could become a habit. But what terrified me more is that this kid could do that to the wrong person – a pedophile . And where were the parents? You tell me. Him and presumably his siblings or friends were outside an apartment building in a group with no adults around at all.

I did what should be done in response to that kind of behavior – and because adults shouldn't be speaking too much to kids they don't know. I ignored it. But not everyone would respond in that way.

I have no idea of where this little boy may have learned this behavior. However, it did prompt me to warn parents to watch what their kids are exposed to. Parents, please supervise your kids – and please don't teach them to objectify people. Teach them to respect them instead.

*I originally published this elsewhere (no longer published there).

Who doesn't love a good family karaoke session? But how do you know which songs to sing? My kids and I enjoy karaoke often. Here are some tips and some of the songs we feel are the best for a family karaoke night.

Choosing good family songs
Good songs for family karaoke night will run the gamut, as far as style and artist. Be sure to choose songs appropriate for the ages of all family members. It's also good to have a variety of different styles of music. This way no one is left out. Don't forget to account for both male and female vocals and remember that males can sing female solos and vice versa. Just let everyone choose whatever they like.

Family karaoke night activities

When kids are involved, it's good to mix things up and have different activities surrounding the karaoke. This keeps them interested for longer than a few minutes. One idea is “Musical Karaoke”. Play it just like “Musical Chairs” except instead of stopping and starting a radio, the person singing karaoke stops and starts at random.

Best songs for family karaoke night

“I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor

“A Whole New World” from Disney's Aladdin movie

“I'll Stand by You” by Carrie Underwood

“Flying Without Wings” by Ruben Studdard

“Part of Your World” from Disney's “The Little Mermaid” movie

“Wild, Wild West” by Will Smith

“I Hope You Dance” by LeeAnn Womack

“Wild Horses” by Natasha Bedingfield

“You are Not Alone” by Michael Jackson

“Just a Girl” by No Doubt

“The Climb” by Miley Cyrus

“Something More” by Sugarland

“Hakuna Matata" from Disney's “The Lion King”

Are your kids bored out of their minds? Just need something free to pass the time? Maybe you're broke but still want to have fun. Either way, these five free ways to have fun with kids are sure to entertain.

Sing Silly Songs Together

Yeah, yeah I know this may sound old-fashioned. But try it. It's great for laughter and helps bring families closer together. This is especially good after a really long day. A family karaoke night is always fun as well.

Play Tag In the Rain

If it's raining outside, no need to stay inside unless there is severe weather. Play a free, fun game of tag in the rain with the kids. It adds a fun element and also teaches kids to appreciate the beauty of mother nature.

Explore the Neighborhood

Do you know what your neighborhood looks like? The full details - not from a car window. Take a stroll around and explore things with the kids. You might be surprised at the nature and landmarks you can discover without being contained by four doors.

Weed Out and Donate

This may seem an odd thing to put on a list of fun things to do. But kids really enjoy knowing their unused items can help others. Go through clothing, books, toys, etc and see what can be given to the less fortunate. Keeps the kids busy and it also helps someone out.

Family Talent Show

Everyone has something special they can do. One kid might be able to sing. Another may be an artist. Maybe another is into fashion. No matter everyone's interests, they can all be combined to create a fun family talent show. You can charge admission with play money for effect.

by Kel McCollum, Health News Expert

For the past couple of decades, an erroneous psychological theory has dominated the way that not only schools and teachers, but also parents and family members, approach children. The “Self-Esteem Movement” dates back to 1969, but it wasn’t until 1999 that psychologists and researchers began to realize one critical flaw in the kind of thinking perpetuated by the movement itself: it did not work.

While self-esteem has always been a crucial element of the success of any child, the movement that sought to increase self-esteem in the next generation of adults by showering them with praise and telling them that they were “little princesses,” “geniuses,” and “winners” did little to nothing in terms of making children feel more comfortable and confident about themselves. In fact, this kind of excessive outward praise proved to be more debilitating for many students than the lack of self-esteem itself.

 2010 Ohio State University study found that today’s college students crave this kind of praise above all else, even more than sex or money. The study was published in the Journal of Personality, and the results indicated that many of today’s young adults have a greater sense of entitlement than ever before. Jean Twenge, a fellow psychologist at San Diego State University, expands upon the results of similar studies and what it means to society in the book “Generation Me.” "What you really see is . . . it's this kind of empty self-esteem where you're supposed to feel special just for being you, that everyone's a winner and we should all feel good about ourselves all the time, which kind of ignores that self-esteem is usually based on something,” Twenge says.

All of this information begs the question of exactly how parents can actually help boost their child’s self-esteem. While praise does not actually help add to a child’s sense of self-worth, accomplishing things and achieving personal goals does. Achievement and goals are defined differently for each child, and for each age group, but there are two main things that parents can do to help: finding activities that offer the opportunity for achievement, and providing guidance and encouragement.

For younger kids, a sense of accomplishment could be derived from the completion of a craft, a coloring page, or even a board game. Sports offer greater self-confidence for children of all ages, and self-esteem is could also be derived from a good grade or exceptional performance in school for school-aged children. But goals should not all be centered around one type of activity. Psychologists emphasize that social activities, settling disagreements, and making friends are equally important. Children must learn effective social and relationship skills as well as intellectual and athletic skills.

SOURCES:

Roy F. Baumeister, “Does High Self-Esteem Cause Better Performance, Interpersonal Success, Happiness, or Healthier Lifestyles?” Journal of the Association for Psychological Science. http://psi.sagepub.com/content/4/1/1.abstract

Maureen Salamon, “For College Students, Praise May Trump Sex and Money,” Business Week.

Richard Lee Colvin, “Losing Faith in the Self-Esteem Movement,” Los Angeles Times.
http://articles.latimes.com/1999/jan/25/news/mn-1505

Michael Hurd, “The Error of the Self-Esteem Movement,” Capitalism Magazine.

Kel McCollum is a full-time freelance writer with over five years of experience in writing for the web and search engine optimization best practices. She also has extensive experience as a working journalist and has produced numerous articles for print publications in the area of health, travel, self-improvement, and business topics.

Ms. McCollum works to help small business owners and internet marketers make the most of the Internet by using keyword-optimized content that drives traffic and increases conversions. She also provides information, resources, and mentoring to other freelancers and aspiring writers through the Writer Reality website.

by  Sandra Lynn Robinov  (aka AskSan); Contributing Writer

My daughter spends time during the summer months with her dad (something she's done since our divorce); and I always worry that she will lose what she's learned the past school year (and from me) while she's living it up with him. That is not to say I think he will "dumb her down" but...well, maybe its my Type A personality scooting to the front during the summer months; on top of just plain missing my little girl, of course.

This summer there were no worries. During many of our long (girl-talk) conversations I was treated to a good read (chapter book or short story) from my 7 year old genius. Proud mom? Without a doubt!

I am always amazed with how smart my Maggie is; and do credit all of her influences -- not just me -- however, I can absolutely take pride in how well she reads, her inflection and comprehension, and her ability to pronounce, define, and use big words; as well as small ones.

The following 5 tips do not even take much conscious thought on my part. At least at the time of implementation. As with most other things, I try to parent in a sensible way with respect to what I was taught as a child and what I learned as I got older.

With that in mind I would like to share what I consider five key ways for turning your child into a lover of the written word. With a healthy appetite for reading anyone can do anything they put their mind to.

5 Ways to Advance Your Child's Reading:

(1) Be a reader and share your love with your child: All kids like to copy what they see others doing and if your child sees you reading often, he or she will want to as well.

(2) Read to your child daily: I've been reading to Maggie since she was but a blob in my belly. Spend 10-15-20 minutes or more a day sharing a story with your child.

(3) Encourage your child to help you read the story you've chosen: Once your child is old enough to start recognizing certain words, let him or her become an active part of telling the story.

(4) Seek outside help (workbooks and/or tutoring): Don't be afraid to admit that you wish your child was a better reader. If the situation reaches a point where you need outside tutoring, there are plenty of ways to get it. Check out your local libraries, bookstores, and research on-line for great tools to help get your child to enjoy reading.

(5) Take time to hear a story and interact with your child: Once your child can read on his or her own, encourage private time -- for them to read on their own -- and time with them to hear their story. Help with big words -- pronouncing and defining, teach proper inflection (e.g., reading questions, character conversations, etc.), and make this a fun part of your day.

The Bottom Line?Again, the above is working for us and I am consistently amazed by my smart girl. I believe in nature and nurture when raising a child and this is one area where I can honestly say I had something to do with her reading success. Oh, and don't forget to praise your child when he or she blows you away with this awesome reading ability! Good luck raising voracious readers!!!

Sources:

• My Mother and Father (Thank you for raising a voracious reader)
• Personal Experience
  

* Sandra Lynn Robinov is an expert reader and mother to a wonderful daughter who reads at two grade levels above her age.

by Lyn Lomasi; Owner of Intent-sive Nature & Brand Shamans Content Community

As a mom to many (who is also experienced at babysitting and nannying), I have dealt with many bumps and scrapes along the way. Some children will scream for a small nick and some will not even flinch or give any injury a second thought. I have learned over the years that much of the child's reaction has to do with the parent or care-giver's reaction. Learn how to keep a child screaming or overreacting about small cuts, scrapes, and other minor injuries.

Check Yourself First

If the adult drops everything and runs screaming in panic for every small cut, then so will the child. That is no way to keep a child from screaming about cuts, scrapes, and other injuries. As the adult, it is your responsibility to calm and soothe a child in a stressful or painful situation, not to make it ten times worse. Even if you are scared, worried, or nervous, the best thing you can do for the child is to never allow the child to see how you feel.

Soothe Without Alarming

A better thing to do is to aid the child with whatever first aid is needed, all the while acting like and verbalizing that everything is okay. Let the child know that he or she will be just fine, even in an emergency situation. Take all the precautionary steps necessary, but without upsetting the child about their cut, scrape, or other minor injury. Do not let on that something might be wrong.


Get Help And Stay Calm

You can call 911, if needed, obviously, but still reassure the child. Do not ever let the child see you panic. If it is an emergency situation, sometimes stress can worsen certain conditions. It is always best to keep the child calm. If you cannot keep calm during the minor situations, such as cuts and scrapes, neither will the child. Children learn from what they observe. If a child gets worked up over a minor situation, imagine how panicked the same child could be over a big incident.

End The Drama And Be The Mama (Or Dad) Instead

When I was maybe around 18 years old, I knew a girl that always panicked for minor cuts. She would act as if she were going to die. No matter how many times someone would attempt to soothe her, it never worked. It would take her over an hour to calm down. I always worried that if she ever had anything serious happen to her, she would put herself into shock. I'm not sure if that's possible, but I know she would likely get a nervous breakdown. I'm not sure if anything bad happened to her, but I sure hope it didn't.

The reason for bringing up that girl is that I remember her mom doing the same. If she tripped lightly, her mom would rush to her and say, "Oh, honey, are you okay?" Even if she said she was, her mom would still continue asking again and again and offering her band-aids and ice for something that wasn't even there. She would scream and panic. This mother's behavior likely led to the child's behavior. As I said before, children learn from observing those around them, especially their parents.

Gentle Guidance Toward Knowing When Situations Are Minor

This is how I suggest handling minor situations. If the child just trips, a quick "Uh-Oh" and a laugh is really all that is necessary, especially if the child isn't hurt. If the child is hurt, still do the same and examine the child in a fun way, like mentioning that you want to search for Elmo or some other funny thing. Look at the child's injury and determine what needs to be done. Then, do it, but make it fun and say things like "Oh, that doesn't look bad at all. Let's just put a band-aid (or whatever other treatment is necessary) on here in case. " Doing it in a fun way not only helps the child forget what is going on, but it also reassures the child everything is okay. After all, it must be okay if the adult is laughing, smiling, and playing.

Does your child overreact about minor injuries or laught it off or something in between? What behaviors of yours are affecting the outcome and do any need changing? Drop us a comment with your experience below.

Last updated 12/7/2020

Welcome to the Upstream Parenting blog! Frequent readers of my work may be familiar with my "Positive Parenting" method. This is based on that method. However, it has grown up a bit and needed a more appropriate name to separate it from similar methods and better describe what it truly is.

The Upstream Parenting blog will contain tips based on this parenting method invented and made popular by yours truly. Follow along to watch how "Positive Parenting" follows the tides of life into its new moniker of  Upstream Parenting.

My step-by-step book based on the method is also coming soon. So subscribe to the blog to get new tips often and be one of the first to know when the book is available.